Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I find the man I am seeing right now very compelling except for one thing. He has some very major tattoos. I do not like tattoos. These are way beyond a little laser removal. And furthermore, he likes them. He is not a lot younger than I am. He does not come from a very different cultural background. What should I do?
~Blues from Tattoos
I myself don't have any particular attitude towards tattoos, although I have a few friends who abhor them. Somehow I expect any man with tattoos to be super masculine and he must deliver the goods in bed. Tell your lover the tattoos are okay as long as he lives up to them. From my point of view you should be able to live with that. Turn off the lights.
Monday, August 29, 2011
You blog lately on the conundrum of how to pair up with another man is of course the eternal question of pairing up with another person. Men and women have a slightly easier job because they are not expected to be both exciting sexually and be social equals. The woman can be younger, she can earn a living, but still the man is the head of the household. In a gay relationship there are two heads of household but making them equal is difficult.
You can pair up with a younger, sexier guy and then eventually the age difference and money difference is going to weigh in. Can your love for each other carry you through?
Or you can have a romance with someone more mature who doesn't have the exciting body or the need for sex very frequently. You can soon slip into a near sexless relationship that is all about being comfortable together. Both possibilities seem so inevitable. What do you think?
~Pondering & Perplexed
Dear P. & P.,
Don't be blue. I'd guess you are still very attractive and about forty. Much younger men still dig you. Men your own age and older do too. You have a lot of choice. But this you must remember. In every other person there is an ageless somebody. An ageless personality and I'm not talking about their mind. I'm talking about their persona as a whole.
In the gay world it is so much about how one looks, whereas sex can be a lot about enthusiasm. If someone really finds you fascinating and pursues you, give them a chance. I think that is your next big step. Forget about giant penises and similar taste in decorating.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Does architecture come under the heading of Fashion? This week I want to call your attention to a new building that is projected for New York which really captured my fancy.
The architect is a Danish guy named Bjarke Ingels and he has designed a building for West 57th St. that I can really imagine would be great to live in. And not at all New York.
I am not keen on architectural design that is a great looking building but is just like all the rest when you live in it. Small rooms and low ceilings. This building looks like everybody would have balconies or a lot of exposure to the outside without feeling you were in a store window. And it's built around a big indoor garden. I love it. I want an apartment on the inside with a view of the garden.
Check out an amazing rendering video of the building from all angles here.
My last trip to New York I sort of felt it was over. The theater, although there is a lot of it, is tired. The city is so congested and airless. And the people think New York is very important without understanding where the world is going. New buildings like this make me think New York could be a completely different kind of city from the city it is today.
Here are a couple of fashion items about bathing suits just as summer heads for a close. The black little speedo look is kind of good. I always liked little bathing suits on men. And the shorts and T-shirts in those girly colors could look fantastic on manly men. Maybe it's the headgear that goes with it that makes this all kind of 21st century.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
How about two Handsomest Men in the World this week? I just stumbled on Zac and Jordan Stenmark, the 19 year old surfing twins from Australia who have recently begun modeling. I know it is very difficult to fall in love with a twin, particularly when they actually do look exactly alike. But you must give it a try.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Dear Daveed, Daveed,
You are getting so Frenchy. My question simple. My boyfriend is getting fatter and fatter. He grabs the bread basket in a restaurant and chows down on the whole thing. The man I love is disappearing. I know beauty is only skin deep but I hate to see this happen to him. Please, give me some advice.
~I Wanna Be Fat Free
Dear Wanna Be Fat-Free,
A. He's unhappy about something. Food is replacing some other thing he wants. In most cases it's sex. I think you need to start exploring those areas of sex he hasn't experienced. I will not go into any details but you need to drag him into bed and try stuff. How do I know? Maybe you already tried a lot of stuff? I'll bet you haven't. Is their stuff you want to try but you're too nice. Too frightened? He's too nice? Go for it.
Monday, August 22, 2011
A serious question. If you are looking for a permanent live-in lover/partner it seems to me you have two choices if you are a fairly successful young gay man. You can either date in your age range or you can date in your economic range.
If you date in your age range this can include guys who work in garages, are policemen, you name it. High on sexiness, low on income and probably always will be. This will be a problem as I see it later.
Or you can date at your economic level, which means men more like yourself, who are more compatible but less sexy. Is there something about making more money that makes men less sexy? I want your thoughts although I think I know what they are already.
~In Search of Love
Dear In Search of Love,
You are more in research of love. But you are right to do so. You bring up important subjects. My feeling is that men who earn less are from a level of society that is not very upwardly mobile. They plan to stay where they are, think as they do and not change much. Why they seem to be more interested in hammering your clam I do not know but they are.
Men who are more upwardly mobile tend to be more bourgeois in their thinking and more concerned with what others think of them. There are two different schools of thought here. Wherever it goes, I think you've got to stick with the guy who moves you emotionally. I think there is just as good a chance he will stay with you and love you. About paying the bills, you can work that out. You may live more simply than you can afford to but hey, it's worth it.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Dear David the Fashion Expert,
Have you noticed that gay men are beginning to pluck their eyebrows in high arches like Marlene Dietrich and Greta Garbo did in the 1930s? What gives here?
~Mr. Furrowed Brow
Dear Mr. Furrowed Brow,
I have a lot of very witty correspondents. Furrow away, my dear. I have only begun to notice this and it is probably a reaction to straight men getting so well groomed that they are plucking their eyebrows also. So gay men have to go one step further.
I don't dish enough people tell me, so you may want to know that the high arched brow came about because Marlene Dietrich had her face lifted in about 1933 and they pulled her forehead straight up. Her eyebrows went way up and her hairline way halfway back across her head. Weird looking. So they made it fashionable. Women plucked their brows completely out and penciled them in high. Think Edith Piaf. Are all these references a half a century behind you? :)
Maybe with women becoming so much more equal gay men want to take advantage of it and become more glam. Andy Warhol always liked to work with transvestites like Candy Darling because he said, "They're the only ones left who know how women are supposed to act."
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Today's Handsomest Man in the World is another French Hottie, Gilles Marini. What's going on here? I once thought the only really handsome French man was Louis Jourdan. Are they having a handsome revival over there?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Dear Dishy David,
Am I the only one or do all the current crop of movie stars resemble each other? The men are all young and humorous. The women all have round, identical faces. Am I wrong?
~The Movie Critic
Dear Movie Critic,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was just going to bring this up. I can't tell anyone apart. Just as I was thinking all the women are named Emma or should be, a magazine noted this. And the men are all brunette and boyish. What does this mean?
I think it means we are no longer styling ourselves on movie stars. We used to have the choice between Betty Davis and Joan Crawford. Oh, so terribly different. No longer. A movie star who looks like she's 25 is out of the question. Not women, but girls. And don't give me Meryl Streep. That is a character actress posing as a leading lady.
And men used to be hot when they were leading men. Now they look like they're doing you a favor, not needing you physically. You know. We don't want to be like them. The movies have become one great big high school musical, are getting dirtier and dirtier to make-up for it. Just like people who use bad words. They say it but they are afraid of doing it.
I think maybe the movies are over except for very young people. Television is much more adult.
I already talked about this. Those big 3-D extravaganzas are for kids. Perhaps we are becoming a nation of kids. That does not bode well for us...
Monday, August 15, 2011
I am dating someone I could get more serious about, but my impression is that he just wants to have fun. He is very affectionate in his emails. And he actually kisses me with great passion. When we sleep together he clutches me in his sleep very tightly with no regard as to whether I am uncomfortable or not.
Can I consider these things indications that he cares more about me than he indicates in conversation? Or am I kidding myself?
~On the Brink
Dear On the Brink,
Listen, I think how they act is more important than what they say. He may be shy. He may be fearful of expressing his emotions verbally. I have known that. Even very sexy, handsome men can be afraid of rejection. I would just see as much of him as possible and and be with him locked in those embraces (you make me a little jealous!) or sleeping away. Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! I see no reason to have a confrontation. However, if he doesn't want to see you all that frequently, I would move on. He may care but is permanently locked away.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 3 ~ We talk with my pal Craig Ferre about his personal coming out story. We hope these stories give you a better understanding if you are at a point where you want to talk to your parents about coming out, and how to handle it. Everyone I've interviewed so far made it through telling our parents! It's not easy but it can be done.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I live in Miami Beach. As you cannot have ignored, we are having a very humid and hot summer. My hair tend to be curly and in this weather I have bounding wave of it. I kind of would like to let it bound, but usually have it slicked down tight to my head because I think I am better looking that way. Your take?
You are a droll. You hairy Harry. I'll be you actually have fantastic wavy hair. The kind that someone once said of, "I want to run through your hair. Barefoot." Let 'er rip, I say. I see those helmet heads as they are dashing in their Rudolf Valentino way. But when push comes to shove, I think hair should be touchable. Or as once love once said, "Don't shellac your hair all down, hair should be f--kable!" So I encourage you, "Have f--ckable hair!"
I found this image of a great suit, plus vest, plus scarf from Canale pictured above. I am not a scarf enthusiast, but Autumn is coming. It might actually be good to have handy, it looks sharp.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
This is once again Handsomest Man in the World day. This week's entry was called to my attention by my friend Heriberto Sanchez, who is summering in France. Our man is Monsieur Camille Lacourt. He is a world famous swimmer and has won gold medals with his specialty, the backstroke. Need I say more, my darlings.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Last week you had a message from a gentleman who had a problem with his lover's choice of lubricant, tastewise. I noticed that you used a very direct description of the problem, but the post was taken off facebook. Why was that?
Dear Ms. Chievous,
You are mischievous and my guess is that you are no more of a Ms. than I am. My assistant said the post was inappropriate for facebook since they may be some younger viewers that may read it.
I'm trying to avoid all vague and sneaky references and speak right about things, but again the subjects may not be suitable for younger readers. So in the future there may be more veiled metaphors. Don't think poorly of me for being less obscene.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Dear David G.,
I have just broken off with my partner of seven years. He wanted out and I wasn’t going to stand in his way. He didn’t leave me for another man but a “sleep around town lifestyle,” which he never had.
I have rapidly bumped up against a South American guy I like very much but here is my question. Isn’t this just “rebound” emotions at work? I don’t trust myself at this point and don’t want to jump into a new relationship, maybe to just not be alone. Maybe just to forget the other guy. What do you think?
Dear Mr. Crisis,
This is a crisis and you are wise to step back and be wary of your own emotions. The best way to make a decision is, however, an emotional one. I can always tell if I am in love or am going to be in love with someone. If you feel this way about the South American, go for it. Perhaps your previous relationship disintegrated so that you would be available for this one.
You know my position. Life is about great stormy emotional relationships and not about a roommate with a little sex thrown in.
On the other hand, if your new romance doesn’t stir you in this way, then let it just go on as happy dating. You can take a break from the great romance and rest up for the next one.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I know Thursday is your fashion day and my question is: you often refer to "inappropriate shorts." What do you mean exactly? Am I guilty of it? I want to know.
Dear Mr. Shanks,
You're not Tom Shanks, are you? Inappropriate shorts. For the rest of the country as Autumn approaches it is probably pointless. But here in Miami Beach it is always pertinent.
At this point in time a man's shorts should always be just above his knee. They can be mid-knee if you insist, but no longer. No shorter. As I have said before, men never wear out their shorts, and wear the shorts in their 50's that they wore at 15. If you have old shorts, dump them.
And gay men, if you are proud of your legs, don't show them off wandering around in too-short shorts. Save that for the beach where you can wear a Speedo and we won't complain. You must avoid looking desperate. And actually, good legs do not go unnoticed in the longer short. They just add to your overall handsomeness. There, don't let me go on...
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Handsomest Man in the World this week is an unknown model I found in a men's magazine. He has that thing. Can anyone identify him? He's the one on the left in the twosome.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I like to give blowjobs. My lover likes to use a lot of lubricant. I don't like the taste of it. What to do?
Dear Icky Icky,
I love your name. A. Are you doing things in the wrong order? Can't the lubricant come later? I guess not.
I am feeling kind of uninformed this week but my friend Craig Ferre is launching a new line of women's intimate products called Body2Body and I know he has a group of women's lubricants in flavors. Strawberry, etc. A great idea.
A name search for "flavored lubricants" and plenty popped up for men and women, click here if you are interested.
Readers let us know in a comment under this post if you have a favorite that you may use!
Monday, August 1, 2011
As a gay man, women's bosom's mean little to me, but sitting in cafe's on Lincoln Road here in Miami Beach I see more and more cleavage plunging past me. "Taking your bosom out for a walk," I call it. I understand that breasts are very exciting to heterosexual men and get them very sexually aroused. Therefore all the display. My question is, do you think women get equally excited about seeing men's penises? And if so, why are men's shorts getting baggier and baggier? Years ago in basketball they were very brief. Now basketball shorts are practically tents.
Dear Just Asking,
Honestly, I don't know. My overall impression is that women are much more about how it feels. Men are about how it looks. However, the fact that women are feeling it necessary to expose their breasts more and more and men to conceal their penises more and more tells us something. Men are in retreat. Women are the aggressors.
Interesting that until about two hundred years ago, upperclass men wore very tight kneepants, revealing everything. And before that they wore little rounded shorts (Henry the Eighth period) with bulging codpieces in the front to indicate they were really big.
I want to do a book "Forty Women Talk About Sex." We need to know more. Ladies, let me know what you think! Please comment on this blog post...