What To Do About The Seven Year Itch...

Dear David,
My lover and I have been together for seven years and the seven year itch set in for him this year. We have been very monogamous and I have been perfectly happy with this. But suddenly he wants to open up our relationship.

He suggested we do three-ways but I have seen where that goes. For a few months I sat back and let him go out and get laid on his own, and we still had sex also. About a month ago I told him I don’t want to do that anymore.

He has now gotten into great shape, been photographed showing off his body, and is now living in a part of our house that we made into a separate apartment for rental. What’s your take on all this? What do you think is coming up next?
~Feeling Lost & Lonely

Dear Lost & Lonely,
I can’t say, “Don’t feel that way.” It’s inevitable. What I would guess is happening is that your lover is getting older, is probably good-looking and needs the ego support of other men finding him attractive. The English eccentric Quentin Crisp always said, “You must have a style and it can’t be your looks. They go.” Your lover’s style has probably been his looks and now he’s getting panicky.

What people don’t seem to understand is that a relationship is all about intimacy. The one and one of you make more than two. Once that is opened up the intimacy is gone and so is the relationship. Now you’re just roommates with a little sex thrown in.

On the other hand, a romance is never done until one party is dead. He may want to come back after these adventures are over. That is what you must decide. Will you want him back? Is that connection still there for you? If it is, I’d wait awhile and see what happens. You can forgive him.

On the other hand, if you feel he has killed it dead, I would get over it as rapidly as possible. If you share property, get rid of it. Move into your own digs. Don’t keep seeing him. You need to shift your attention away so that destiny can come sweeping in with someone who will really want someone like you; a person who understands what intimacy is.

Blog Hits From All Around the World ~ DavidsGayDish ~ Video

Happy Friday everyone! In this video I talk about all the interesting blog views we've been getting here at Davids Gay Dish from all around the world.

Do You Have Any Secrets?

Dear David,
Do you have any secrets?
~Your Secret Friend

Dear Secret Friend,
How nice to have a secret friend. Who are you anyways? To answer your question, no, I do not have any secrets. I do not offer up some things about my life, but if you ask I will tell you anything and everything. But you must brace yourself.

Apropos of that, I have had four great loves in my life, and one of them died a month ago. His name was Frank Andrea. He was a very handsome actor, singer, dancer who worked under the name Frank Andre. I met him when I managed the Robert Joffrey Ballet School in New York and was involved with him for ten years. From his age of 20 to 30. He had a measure of success, dancing with the Royal Winnipeg Ballet and performing in Off-Broadway shows and a daytime TV soap opera.

He lost his grip on himself and at one point I had to decide whether to go crazy with him or to leave him. And I left him. He lived on a lot longer. I paid his rent and then bought the house he lived in, in Philadelphia, so he would always be secure.

This last weekend I had to go to Philadelphia and empty that house and put it up for sale. It was a long road back into my own past. We had not been lovers for more that 40 years but there was a lot of memorabilia in the house. Now it feels as though a huge door has been slammed shut on part of my past and I do not regret this. But there is something haunting about what happens to youth and beauty. It is unavoidable but never acceptable.

Fortunately for me I am very involved with someone else right now so the door isn't slamming shut on me.

Here are some photographs of Frank as he was when I was so much in love with him:

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Daniel Villa

Wednesday is Handsomest Man in the World Day and here is the gorgeous Daniel Villa, a Columbian actor and model. Read an interview with him here over at the website Hunk du Jour. Enjoy!

Mid-Summer 2011 Fashion Advice

Dear David,
Summer is upon us and I don’t know what to wear. All the men’s fashion that I see looks like it is designed for men from some other planet. What is your plan?
~Fashion Frantic

Dear Frantic,
If there is one thing you should not be frantic about it is fashion. I am so hopelessly conservative as I get older but always lie one bit of strange flash about what I am wearing so people know that I am not from Kalamazoo. Here are a few thoughts:

1. I kind of like this blue jean blazer. This one is Ralph Lauren. I think you have to be cleaned up when you wear it and never with blue jeans. Wear it with white pants or shorts, a white T-shirt and a hankerchief in the pocket, you could be very cool:

2. I also like this bright red blazer. You have to play this way down with a minimum of accessories but it could be very good. I kind of like the T-shirt under a blazer look. And you don’t need the pocket hankerchief:

3. Haircuts. Although I am a lot of longer hair in the press I am not seeing it in person here in Miami Beach, which is always very edgy. I think these looks are probably the same haircut, messed up and combed down. I am wearing the side part with shortish hair and I think I look swell:

4. Here’s an Armani look, white jacket and black pants and bag. I liked this alot. Somehow you don’t expect black and white in the summer:

5. One last brand-new look that is actually for next Spring. Are we working a year ahead in Milan? Guess so. This pale ice cream green I think looks great. I can see a suit in it. And if you can find it or make it or dye it, you’re a year ahead:

Remember this, with all these new looks coming out you should still look like a guy. Men who like men who like men, for the most part. This new flowered look I can’t imagine is going to work on anybody:

Happy 4th of July!

A short message from me on the day that stands for liberty and freedom. I love the United States and what it stands for all over the world. A friend of mine from France came over when he was fully grown and after being in New York for just a few days he said, “The great thing about this country is that anything is possible.” And that is true. No matter where you start from, you can become a star, you can rise above your beginnings, you can be happy on your own terms.

And that is my message for you today. Try to be happy on your own terms. Find out who you are and then try to create a life that is right for that person. Recently I talked about the writer Paula Fox. In one of her short stories she quotes another writer who said “When you start to live a life that is a copy of someone else’s, you stop living.”

I think many people do this. And why do some many American faces look disappointed? They are not living their own lives. They are living a life someone else told them would be good.

So in this day that stands for freedom, do not forget to live your own life.

(dog photo via flickr blog)

Gay Pride Ft. Lauderdale ~ Video

Hello Darlings,
Above is a video from Gay Pride Ft. Lauderdale last weekend. Also, here is a photograph of me in my fun sparkly jacket:

Have a lovely weekend everyone!