Can a gay man play heterosexual roles in Hollywood?

Dear David,
Do you think we have come far enough that an out gay man can play heterosexual roles in Hollywood and be accepted by the American pubic?
~I.M. Curious

Dear Mr. Curious,
My trainer was yearning over Matthew McConaughey the other day and was amazed that Mr. McConaughey may no be as hetero as widely assumed.

(Photo of Matthew McConaughey via thebosh.com)

I pointed out that he attended the Academy Awards for the first time with his mother. I think there is a lot of inauthentic marriages in Hollywood because the public is NOT ready to see a gay man pretend to be straight. I don't think I am, really. Because in movies contrary to the stage we "live" them and think they are real. That is one of the stage effects of film.

More important, there is no general awareness that people can be attracted to their own sex at some times in their lives and not at other times. Being gay for some men can be kind of off-again, on-again situation. So our Hollywood romantic stars MUST be heterosexual for the public to want to see them.

This goes way back. Robert Taylor was married to Barbara Stanwyck, a kind of unlikely couple:

Tyrone Power was married to Annabella, a French star. Another unlikely couple:

I think when Hollywood male star marries a script girl or a lady bartender, or has a series of vague girlfriends from Las Vegas, there is a lot to think about there. For myself, I couldn't care less. But I only think that it is sad to give up having a really great and meaningful relationship with somebody because your career doesn't allow it. That's sad. A little bit like going into a convent.
~David

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You're invited to a book party for my new novel "Love in the Loire" at the Rizzoli bookstore in New York at 31 W. 57th St. between 5th and 6th Avenues. Book Party starts at 5:30 pm, Thursday June 2, 2011. If you are in or about New York, please come.

Bothered by a Guy Who is not Hot

Dear David,
What do you say when someone wants to have sex with you and is very insistent? In a bar or somewhere. No one you really know.
~Bothered by a Guy Who is not Hot

Dear Guy,
I always say "You don't want to sleep with me. I'm terrible. I hardly move. Ask anyone."

When you're seated beside them at a table and they reach into your crotch you turn and say, "Pardon me, am I in your way?"

I have never known these to fail.
~David

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You're invited to a book party for my new novel "Love in the Loire" at the Rizzoli bookstore in New York at 31 W. 57th St. between 5th and 6th Avenues. Book Party starts at 5:30 pm, Thursday June 2, 2011. If you are in or about New York, please come.

Gay Role Models for Older Gay Men ~ How to Be Gay in the 21st Century ~ Video

My thoughts on gay role models for older men. Enjoy your holiday weekend!

Role Models for Older Gay Men?

(Salvador Dalí & Coco Chanel image via firelily tumblr blog)

Dear David,
I am in my sixties and seventy is looming ahead. I am in good health and good form but I don't see any older gay role models I want to be like. What are your ideas?
~Mr. Mature

Dear Mr. Mature,
I faced the same problem and my role models wear actually women. As I reviewed people's lives as they grew older I admired Coco Chanel and Elsie de Wolfe, Lady Mendl. Chanel made her comeback at seventy after the war and Elsie Mendl fled Paris and went to Hollywood during World War II and was very successful interior decorator there and in her eighties. She got a facelift, put her hair up like Betty Grable and went to work. I think the inspiration here was they worked. You may have to change careers but plan to work. Writing a book, taking nude photographs, designing t-shirts. There's lots of stuff to do the world is waiting for. You may be one of the role models younger gay guys will copy.

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Does anybody know where this is?


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More Gossip:
Even more news on Arnold Schwarzenegger. Early in his bodybuilding career he was supported by a very gay guy in Spain. I have photographs of them in their apartment...Next Week!

Handsomest Man in the World & Men's Fashion Advice

This is Wednesday and Handsomest Man in the World day. Today's choice is Enrique Almanza, who works with one of my cousins here in Miami. The photograph is from a trip out on my cousin's yacht in the bay of Miami. Enrique is very smart and capable and I think you can put him in the category of "HOT", don't you?


YOU ARE INVITED TO A PARTY FOR MY NEW BOOK “LOVE IN THE LOIRE"
Don't forget about my book party tonight for my latest book "Love in the Loire." (Details on right side of blog). I will read something witty and wonderful from it. I’d like to see you. Please come. Wed. May 25th at 7:00 PM / Books and Books / 927 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, FL 33139


Also, today I have this request:

Dear David,
I like your fashion directions very much for men but I am never going to be that tall and thin. Never was and am not going to get better. What are your fashion directions for us with the lower, broader physiques. I want to look younger and with it but I don't want to look freaky. Help!
~Fashion for the Average Guy

Dear Fashion for the A.G.,

Does this help?

1. The shorter, tighter jacket. This doesn't need to squeeze you in, but the butt should just meet the button hole in the front. No looseness. Somehow is makes you look tall and thinner no matter your build:

2. Try turning the collar up. It makes you look a little more dashing and Cary Grant like:

3. White about the face. The white shirt without a tie and dark jacket will make you look with it. For evening or parties stick a hankerchief in your breast pocket. That look is back and makes you look a little devil-may-care:

4. Recently I am seeing the v-necked t-shirt under jackets and that looks good. Somehow extra skin makes your face go up. But plain, please. A white or dark T-shirt. No colors. Gray is the new black:

5. I love this new Zegna jacket. All sort of unfinished. Just for those dress-up moments but you don't have to be thin or tall for this. It really looks new:

6. The scarf. You can get away with this if it is under control like this:

7. Your hair. Comb it straight back and up. If you're young it can go pretty wild. More mature, keep it under control but it can go up:

Don't be afraid of blonding your hair in a way that looks like you really meant to do it. The streakier and dark roots the better. It can make you look younger and stand out:

8. Lastly, I love this look and I do it.Take a regular tie and tie it like a bow tie when you are really dressing up. It is kind of correct and it really isn't faggy. Just sort of front edge:

Too Much Sexy Time?

Dear Davids Gay Dish,
I have a sexual problem. My partner, whom I love very much, is extremely sexy and when we have sex he usually wants to do it two or three times. I find that after once I am really out of the mood, which I think is common. Yet I don't want to disappoint him. What do you suggest I do?
~Super Saturated in Sex

Dear S.S.S.,
Now listen, this is what I do. The first time around do something he likes to do but doesn't result in you having an orgasm, just him. I think you know what I'm talking about. Then when he recovers and is gung-ho for a second round you will be in the mood and can hurl yourself into it with abandon. This is a problem but one you are lucky to have. As for the occasional third round, you can either try laughing at him or be a good samaritan.

(Photo via blog Onefinegay)

Advice on Stress in Advertising

Dear David,
I like my job very much. I work in advertising and the people I work with are fun and interesting but management can be very arrogant and difficult and changes direction all the time. And the clients are always disorganized and don't know what they want. Plus always treat us like underlings. You worked in advertising. How did you handle it?
~Distressed Daily

Dear Distressed Daily (I love your name),
I worked for many years as Worldwide Creative Director for Revlon at Grey Advertising in New York. Every year Advertising magazine published a list of the ten worst clients in the business. Revlon was always number one.

I used to tell my staff, pretend you are a nurse in a mental institution and the patients think they are in advertising. Your job is to keep them calm and non-violent. Agree with them, smile, speak slowly and calmly, never get angry. These meetings are their therapy. And remember, you are a nurse, not a doctor. These people are never going to get well. It always worked fine.

We were paid very well to do these jobs and when leaving a meeting I would say to my senior writer, "What were you thinking about?" and she would say, "My jewelry, and you?" And I would reply, "My real estate." And we would sweep away.
~David

(Cast of Mad Men image via celebrations.com)