If your sex life isn't at home...

Dear David, 
I am in my late twenties. My lover is in his mid-fifties. We have been together about four years. We have a very intimate, inter-reliant relationship. We really are a couple. However, our sex life is almost non-existent. My lover travels a good bit and I know he has sexual encounters when he does. This doesn't bother me. I feel that our being together is fine this way. What do you think?
~Happy As-it-is

Dear Happy,
Letters like your make me wonder a bit about my own personal philosophy. I always feel that if your sex life isn't at home you are living in a room with a missing wall. Unexpected events might roar in at any time. You might suddenly fall in love with someone else. He might meet someone on his travels he just can't resist.

It's very "mom and dad", the lifestyle you seem to be living. If you need his financial helo and the life you have depends a lot on him, I think you are in a dangerous position. To say nothing of your own sex life. Don't you want to be involved with someone with whom you also have the fulfilling sex that for me is the basis of a relationship.