Is this adult love?

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Dear David,

I have a boyfriend who lives in a foreign country who is very taken with me. I appreciate his intelligence, education, he is a pleasure to be with, excellent body and sexiness but...I am not in love with him. I have told him that and we have a kind of intimacy, but I cannot call it love. Is this adult love? What gives?

~ S.Lightly Baffled

Dear Mr. Baffled,

If you read my blog regularly I am sure you've heard me say that in my opinion in every relationship - there is the lover and the loved one. You probably have always been the lover. Now it’s your turn in the barrel. My take on you is that you might fall in love with someone else after you have committed to your foreign lover and that could become a big problem. I think you should keep it as a romantic love affair between foreigners for the moment. Your feelings may shift. Any long term relationship will always involve a shifting back and forth as to who is the lover and who is the loved one. I’d wait this out for awhile.