My lover of 17 years and I have just broken up...

Dear David,
My lover of 17 years and I have just broken up. It sort of began withering away about a year ago and I don't think either of us was to blame and I think we still feel love for each other...it was just sort of dead on its feet. He already has a new boyfriend, who has been sort of waiting in the wings for the past year I gather. And I have become involved with a very handsome man a bit older than myself, previously married and the father of three. I could be very romantically involved with him but he is not avidly pursuig me, although very interested. My common sense tell me he isn't the best idea in the world, yet I feel very drawn to him.
~Midlife and mixed up

Dear Midlife,
Seventeen years is a long time. But as my manager says, "The parties over, turn on the lights." I think you should pay attention to your feelings of uneasiness about Mister Ex-married. You have to be missing the feelings of intimacy with your departed partner. My own rule is that the other guy has to be pursuing me. Otherwise you can be headed for teenage heartbreak. Hold yourself back a bit-I think that is a good way to be in this situation. Maybe it will make the new lover shift gears and really get after you. If not, you have still made the right decision.