Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Need help with weight loss...

Dear David,
I am so fat. Help!

Dear Ballooning,
It's no fun, that's for sure. I don't want to explore any of the psychological reasons. I think you should concentrate on how you feel when  you eat. Sore the second you're not hungry. I know all about the starving in China and Africa. You can't help that in Indianapolis. Leave that milkshake half done. Take one bit of your pie and push it away. Keep a bag of small hard candies at home. When you MUST eat something sweet, take one and that feeling will go away. And kind of get used to feeling hungry. Drink more water. Just remember what ten pounds of hamburger looks like on your body. Not a good look. And if you're home alone, eat breakfast for dinner. I want you to like yourself. Don't bury your sexual parts under fat where nobody can find them!

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