Friday, December 30, 2011

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 19

Welcome to today's episode of Come On Out! with David Leddick, where I talk to German actor Giovanni Arvaneh about his new movie, Zenne Dancer. Enjoy!

For more information on the talented and handsome Giovanni Arvaneh, please visit:

For more information Zenne Dancer the movie, please visit:
and Zenne the Movie on facebook

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Fashion Talk & New Year Advice

Fashion Day, and I know, I know, I know - we haven't even really gotten into winter yet but I am looking forward to the Spring. I'm headed to Uruguay in mid-January and it is now mid-summer there, I'm feeling kind of jackety.

How about a blazer but rev it up with colored buttons? I kind of like it.

How about a cross-check jacket and a scarf twisted about your neck instead of a tie? Somehow this looks really masculine to me.

How about blue on blue on blue with a little zipper something instead of a shirt and that little scarf. I think this looks really up-to-the-minute. Of course you may have to go really blonde. Go ahead. I do and I call it "Suicide Blonde." And the suicide is not mine. Picture of me below:

I just want you to know that the other day I was in a second-hand shop and found a small leather purse on a long strap. I threw it over my shoulder and said to the clerk, "Does this look to girly?" He said, "Not on you!"


Dear David,
The New Year approaches. Am I going to find love?

Dear Hoping,
Yes. Definitely. Remember, we get what we expect not what we hope for. Expect love. Don't be surprised where it comes from. Don't put all kinds of restrictions up like age, income, race, height. I think this is going to be a great year for all of us. And remember, love is more important than anything else. And it's about you loving somebody - not waiting for somebody to love you. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Handsomest Man in the World & Kissing Advice

Handsomest Man in the World day is here! I found these pages from a magazine from maybe a year ago. This model is great. I have no idea who he is and have never seen him in a magazine again, but for a moment there he was it. And I'll bet he still is.

Dear David,
My lover doesn't like to kiss. I love to. Do you have any suggestions?
~The Kissing Fool

Dear Kissing Fool,
Try biting his ear. Or his nose. Or his nipples. Or you know. It's almost as good. And he will like it mucho.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

What to Do When Partner Shows Less Interest?

Dear David,
What should one do when the person they love is showing less interest in sleeping with them?
~Christmas Cheerless

Dear Cheerless,
Honey, it's all about your body. Are you too thin, too droopy, too this or too that? You need to get into shape. Eat more, eat less, get yourself to the gym, walk instead of drive, go to a dance class. Get going!

Once your body looks better I promise they'll be crawling all over you. And how about their body? Does it deserve a little criticism on your part? Maybe when your body is looking swell you'll be the one not in the mood and consider getting the hell out of there.

(photo via

Monday, December 26, 2011

Pretending to Have Emotions Around Family

I saved this question for the day after Christmas as I thought many of you out there might need it:

Dear David,
Have you had the experience of being with your family and having to pretend to have emotions you do not really have? There is an attempt at cheer but the years of inter-family problems and frequent unhappiness which no one wants to discuss makes being cheery difficult most of the time, Have you had this experience?
~Alone with the Loved Ones

Dear Alone-A,
Don’t worry, my darling. This is how it usually is. I myself dislike feigning emotions I do not have but sometimes you must. The way I handled it with my family was pretending I was being paid to be there. Coming from an advertising background, I pretended that my family were the clients and I was being paid a thousand dollars a day to be with them. I was always pleasant, smoothed things over, entertained them, told funny stories, suggested outings and they loved it. The fact that it was completely artificial was fine with them. You’ve had problems with them because they cannot be upfront, recognize their own emotions, deal with reality. So forget it. My own folks pretty much abandoned me completely once they found out they weren’t in the will. So your take on family isn’t wrong. You just have to live with it.

(Family cartoon via

Friday, December 23, 2011

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 18

Welcome to today's episode of Come On Out! with David Leddick, where I talk to my pal Elier Reyes about his personal coming out story. Enjoy!

For more information on Elier Reyes, please visit:

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Worst Ad of the Week & Fashion Talk

Hello darlings - How to Be Gay in the 21st Century was included in Roberto Friedman's 2011 list of books he recommends for the year, in his annual article for The Bay Area Reporter! Please click here for the wonderful review of my book.

I am starting a new little feature this week called Worst Ad of the Week. The picture above is from a Marc Jacobs ad campaign of someone named Cerith Wynn Evans and it is very mysterious. Would anyone want to wear this jacket after seeing it on him? With just that little hint of sexual parts? I don't think so...


But now, for more serious talk about fashion. I think the navy peacoat with all its four-square buttons is looking really good. Somehow it makes men and women alike look snappy and lots of designers and ready-to-wear are doing it this season. If you need a new warm coat, go for it.

Here's another red look. You have to have the gumption to wear this look but it's got it. Neat, strong and eye-catching. Of course this is by Dior so you better have lots of moola too.

And lastly, Here is Jil Sander's new see through clear plastic raincoat. I think this is great. Of course, you may want to wear something under it, which this model is not doing. Gotta hand it to the magazine for giving us a full frontal in their fashion pages. I haven't seen that before.


Dear David,
I am a guy whose most fetching feature is my legs. But winter is here and I live in a city. Any suggestions?

Dear Leggy,
1. Go to the gym a lot
2. Take some swimming classes
3. Try introducing tights and shorts with a business top. Would your job allow this?
4. Move to Miami Beach. We wear shorts all year round here. And we would welcome you.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Jack Wilshere

I ran across Jack Wilshere, who plays what we American's call soccer and the English call football for the Arsenal team in the United Kingdom. In a magazine supplement dedicated to this much-loved but not too fortunate team. Mr. Wilshere seems rather young and unbattered for a sports hero, but he sure is a honey and this week's Handsomest Man in the World.


Dear David,
I hate having a sex problem as Christmas is upon us, but I am having trouble masturbating as I get older. Not that I am not up and willing but my imagination just isn't responding to porn magazines and movies. What, what, what?

Dear What,

You know what I think. You have just been depending too much on imaginary playmates. Shift your imagination to real people with whom you have had real sex, which I'm assuming you have had. Try conjuring up these memories. I'll bet it will work. And where are those guys anyway. Why not give them a call?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Never Wants to "Top"

Dear Davidina,
My partner never wants to "top." He says it hurts. Honest. Any suggestions?
~Perfectly Happy but Perplexed

Dear Perplexedina,
Interesting, I have never had this complaint before. I am assuming that this is in no way your fault. May I suggest oodles and oodles of lubricant. I would ask him exactly what hurts? If he really just doesn't want to do it...maybe it is strap-on time.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Baffled by Teen Bullys

Dear David,
I know you have a lot of confidence in younger people and feel they pay little attention to differences like gayness. Yet we are having these teen suicides and gay-bullying in high schools. How do you explain that?

Dear Baffled,
Here's my stand. Men who gay-bash do it because they have homosexual feelings that they are afraid of. From their guilt they punish others rather than themselves. In my experience really heterosexual men have no negative feelings about gay men. I have half a dozen non-gay men as good friends whom I think feel more comfortable discussing really personal things with me than other heterosexual male friends.

I just keep saying it, "If you bully gays it's because you are gay yourself." If this idea can be promulgated enough it ought to make sense to teenagers. This is a 21st century point of view. Keep saying it.

(Photo via


In need of last minute holiday gifts? There's How to be Gay in the 21st Century, Escort, and my two new novels Love in the Loire and I Don't Kiss. Please click here for more information!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 17

Welcome to today's episode of Come On Out! with David Leddick, where I talk to my pal Oliver Davis about his personal coming out story. Enjoy!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Ballet, Fashion & Art

Dear David,
Have you found that your ballet background has helped you with your health and your gait?

Dear Interested,
Yes, in fact I think it has been crucial. I have gone to ballet class almost all of my adult life and still do. I look in the mirror at the Miami City Ballet school and ask myself if there is anyone else on the planet still going to class as their 82nd birthday approaches. Certainly not with my legs.

I think your muscles stay in shape if you don't let them get out of shape. I think technically I dance as well as I ever did but probably don't have the stamina. I love moving to music and it's much easier doing an hour and a half in class than the gym. I go to the gym twice a week with a trainer and try to go to ballet class twice a week, too. A good part of it is posture also. As a dancer you have to stand up. I see older people slumping and I want to slap them on the back and say "Stand the f-k up!" I don't think they are aware that they are sinking. Yes, ballet makes you stand up and step out. Dancers usually love to ripe old ages.


Our fashion hit of the week is Walter van Berendonck, the Belgian designer. Here are two spreads of his clothes. I think he is the only designer for men who is actually doing anything different and new. This may be where men's fashion is going. It's bright and different and it surely doesn't look girly.

(Peter Hammar | Looking Thru My Kaleidoscope Studio wall installation, 2011 | 20' x 9')

It's almost the holidays and I have some gift ideas! You should go see the Swedish artist Peter Hammar's work at the ArtCenter South Florida at 800 Lincoln Road if you live on the beach. Great gifts if you want to spend a little money or a lot. His work is really new and interesting. Very handsome, too.

For more information please visit:

Also, don't you kids think it would be a swell idea to buy one of of my books or more for holiday gifts? There's How to be Gay in the 21st Century, Escort, and my two new novels Love in the Loire and I Don't Kiss. Please Click here for more information!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Handsomest Man in the World & Love Advice

Handsomest Man in the world this week is Robert Downey, Jr. He was on the cover of a European men's magazine and he's got it. I should add that in my youth I lived near Sheridan Square in New York's Greenwich Village. His father Robert Downey was a waiter at the Pam-Pam eatery there and he was really good looking. We went to eat there late after the bars closed and there he was. I had such a crush on him. This was before his underground films and later fame. Certainly before Robert, Jr. was born. Are there really only 40 people in the world and the rest are walk-ons?


Dear David,
Great article in the Huffington Post! As a young gay man it was helpful to gain an historical perspective on homosexuality in the US. And I can't believe you were alive in the 1930s. You look so young!

Here's my situation:
The last significant relationship I was in—my first—was intense and liberating. It ended suddenly, with me in tears. Afterward, I had a lot of unfulfilling sleepovers with older men. Now that I'm dating people my age, I'm finding it hard to find a potential lover. What will happen is I'll go on a date with someone I'm curious in and we'll small talk the entire time. Pretty soon I'll lose interest in the guy simply because the conversation is boring. I'm looking to spice up my romantic life and wondering if dating is the way to do it. Any advice?

Dear Newly Gay,
I think you're fine. You just need to ask those boring conversationalists some startling questions. Recently talking to my friends I find they seem reluctant to ask those to-the-point questions like "What do you like to do sexually?" You need to dig below that level of where they went to school, what movies they have seen recently, etc. Just think about what you would really like to know about them and ask. Suddenly the real person is there.

Thanks for the mention of my being on Huffington Post. We had almost a thousand hits on my blog within the first two days of the article. Please bookmark my blog and tell your friends!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Does Hugh Jackman have a gay brother?

(Hugh Jackman photo via

Dear David,
I came across your blog via your Huffington Post article, and am enjoying it immensely. You're very funny.

May I be honest? I moved to LA last year from Houston, and am considered very good looking (I think it's my hair), smart, funny, creative, and thoughtful, yet I can't GIVE IT AWAY. Well, not exactly, but that's pretty darn close to being accurate. I'm told people are intimidated by my self-awareness, and the other things I already humbly mentioned. What advice might you give me if I wanted to put myself into situations where other smart, confident, thoughtful, and what the heck, handsome men (in their 40's, like me) might gather?
~Does Hugh Jackman have a gay brother?

Dear Hugh Jackman's gay brother,
Maybe you are his twin if the rumors are correct. Anyway, you need to place yourself in situations where you are not there looking for somebody. Where someone has a chance to realize that you are smart and funny as well as attractive. I highly recommend some adult education classes where you are going regularly and someone can get to know you.

As a gay man you may be drawn to ceramics or painting. I myself would recommend a language class, carpentry or plumbing. I will bet there are some great guys there. And in the 21st century all those old barriers about being gay or non-gay are falling away. Go get 'em! And please, report back. I want some front-line news!

Monday, December 12, 2011

How Do I Get Over "The One" ?

Dear David,
How do I get over someone whom I thought was "the one"?

Dear Fallen,
I have been a Zen student for quite a few years, meditating daily, and this is, as you know, a practice not a religion. There is no dogma and no instruction. You just have to learn from yourself. I believe that deep in our subconcious we know a lot, maybe everything. It's just hard to get through to it, or maybe better, to let it happen.

I studied under one abbot for a long time and the only thing he ever said to me as a guide was, "Don't be so sure what you want is what you should have." I think we all have destinies and we must avoid getting off at the wrong station. Maybe that "special one" was the wrong station.

And on a more superficial level, one isn't gone forever until they are dead. He/she may very well be back. I still get calls in the night and they always ask "How do you look?" I hope I have given you something to be hopeful about.

(Photo by Danica Faye)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 16

Welcome to today's episode of Come On Out! with David Leddick, where I talk to my pal Gama about his personal coming out story. Enjoy!

A wonderful review of "How to Be Gay in the 21st Century" is featured on the nineteen (19) media websites listed below! Please click on any of the links below to read the review:



















Feeling Older & Unattractive

Dear David,
I feel older and unattractive. Que Pasa?
~The Old Boot

Dear Old Boot,
I love your name. I am sure that you are funny enough to attract lots of people. Anyway, how about the sun flares? They are huge and affect the electricity on the earth as well as your mood. It's true. I am not big on "woo-woo stuff" but this seems to be the case. So maybe you are just suffering from "sun-flaritus."

Go to the gym. Get a haircut. Start using moisturizer. I have a feeling that Mr. Right is hovering just over the horizon. Let me know.

(Photo of David Leddick by David Vance for the book "How to Be Gay in the 21st Century")

Fashion for today:
I am seeing a lot of all red outfits. I am not going to wear this but obviously it's something to think about. The first 2 photos are of the model Jared Neff. Check the hair. Very in right now:

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Handsomest Man in the World & Dating Advice

Are you old enough to know this is the day that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and pulled the United Staes into World War II? I remember it and the pictures in Life Magazine. My father died one month later. Those days were a mess.

Dear David,
I am a straight guy and have been checking out your blog because a couple of my gay friends told me it was interesting - and it is. Here's my problem. I am in my thirties, have a good job, have not been married before but would like to get married and have a family. At a recent party a married woman friend introduced me to two young women she thought I would find interesting. One I did. The other less so. The second one, however, liked me and has been emailing me everyday suggesting we meet for coffee and telling me all about her life. It turns out she lives with her parents and has two small children, being recently divorced. I don't want to hurt her feelings. How do I communicate that I am not interested?

Dear Baffled,
You seem to be a nice guy and evidently a good catch. Here is what I suggest. Call this lady and make a lunch date at an ok resteraunt. There you can sit down, get to know each other better, maybe start becoming friends or maybe not, but make it clear you are interested in someone else. Whether this is true or not. This won't damage her ego and will let her continue with her own life without feeling rejected.

Handsomest Man in the World ~ I want more Dominic Cooper, don't you? Here you go!

(Photos of Dominic Cooper from Interview Magazine)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Melancholia the movie & sex advice

Just to remind you again, I was on Huffington-Post last Wednesday! I’d like very much to have your reaction. Let me know. You can condemn me if you like. There’s no such thing as bad publicity. Thank you! Please click here for the article.

Have you seen the movie "Melancholia?" You should see it. The advertising kind of avoids the central theme that a stray planet is about to intersect with the earth. Will it? Won't it? Very interesting because of the music (a Beethoven great) the shooting with very long takes. Overheads in the fog. Everything that is all the current quick cuts, fast paced contemporary movies are not. It has a very heavy foreboding feeling - I think you could use a little foreboding. You are avoiding thinking about a lot of things right now. I will never understand Kirsten Dunst as a movie star, of course. I think she got the part because to her credit she has excellent boobs.

Dear David,
I am an older woman who reads your blog because so much of it is for everyone. My question: I am with someone with whom I have had a good and satisfying life except now sex is gone and will not be coming back. I miss it. Please tell me what I should do.
~Still Hot

Dear Madame Still Hot,
More power to you. I think we have all grown up to accept that we can have sex with one person while being in love with another. Keep your antenna up and keep looking good. Some guy, much younger I will guess, is going to want you. And you should say yes. Just rendezvous in motels/cheap hotels and do it. Tell him right off you are not in love with him. Except perhaps for his body. And keep it to yourself. And don't do something deliberately so you get caught and then can dump your guilt on someone else. You are guilty of anything except being human.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Art Basel Miami Beach & Love Advice

(Luis Selem ~ Evocacion primigenia)

Here it is, another week starting. Art Basel Miami Beach just finished yesterday and it was a "hog rassle" as they say in Michigan. Zillions of people descend on Miami Beach and also Miami now, traffic is bumper to bumper, restaurants are jammed, many parties every night. I went out four nights in a row. The parties are largely hundreds of people who don't know each other jammed together promoting something that are not quite sure of. Lots and lots of well put together, good-looking women.

If you are in the Miami are you should check out the Luis Selem show at the Galeria del Sol in Miami Beach. I love his work. The gallery is a 1628 Meridian just south of Lincoln Road down towards the Alton Road end. Check it out. Very good!

Dear David,
I was very much involved with another man about ten years ago. It was an important relationship that ended after about two years. We have just reconnected and aren't quite sure why we broke up then. Perhaps it wasn't all it could have been sexually and that was my fault. I've gotten over some of my hang ups of that time.

I can't help feeling we have wasted many years when we could have been happy together. He doesn't feel that way. What do you think?
~Time Wasted

Dear Time Wasted,
How about destiny?! My feeling is that you both were out there learning, growing, changing. All things you needed to do before you were ready for some real commitment. Go for it. This sound like this is it.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 15

Welcome to today's episode of Come On Out! with David Leddick, where I talk to my pal Anthony about his personal coming out story. Enjoy!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Fashion Talk - sequin hoodies and more

Now listen, I think men's fashion is intrinsically boring as it hasn't really changed much since 1820. That's when knee britches went out and the dark suit and tie with white shirt came in. And viola! If you came from outerspace the way men looked then and looked now would be very similar. So today we will talk about the current nuances and then I will be wilder in the future:

1. I think the bulky sweater could be replacing the jacket so this beige look with corduroy pants and a slunk over the shoulders raincoast is all the same stuff. But a tee-shirt instead of a shirt and the overall colors could be really good without looking girly this winter.

2. This camel blazer looks really good. The model is Garrett Neff who suddenly looks ten years younger. And cute. Where he used to be muscly and sullen. Wha' happened?

3. Here's the little navy blazer on a guy with tattoos and a beard. It's from Brooks Brothers. I'm surprised!

4. This sweater and white pants without a belt looking really good and not too extreme. Men's pants seem to be going up waistline speaking. And pleats are returning. I like this. Tom Ford, of course.

5. Mr. Ford has a new men's cologne called Grey Vetiver. I cannot speak for it but his look in the ad is excellent if you are going to get really dressed up. Grey always makes you look good. I don't know why. Much better than brown on most people.

6. Just want to point out this sequin hoodie by Osklen. If you've got the guts this is great.

7. Very beautiful new model, the girl Heloise Guerin.
The guy is ok too!