What about cosmetic surgery?

Dear David,

What about cosmetic surgery? Where do you stand on this?

~Drooping A. Bit

Dear Drooping A. Bit,

It comes to everyone, my friend. It comes to everyone. If you don't like what you see in the mirror you can and should do something about it. Just for your own morale. When your jawline and your neck all become one thing, it's time to act. These operations are simple and tightening your neck, lifting the bags under your eyes -all this can be done and your friends will just say you look rested. I went out of circulation when I was 65 and I had myself redone. I was back in circulation immediately and although no one seemed to notice or mention it. Remember, you just want to look good for your age. You can only look ten years younger than you are. And go to a doctor who had done good work on a friend you have seen. Do NOT try to get a bargain.

I have just turned fifty. I am still in very good shape...

Dear David,I have just turned fifty. I am still in very good shape. Just yesterday I was in a store and I heard the lady say, "guapo, guapo!" which means handsome in Spanish. So I guess I'm alright. I have always had a lot of attention, but just in the past few years much less. And less all the time. The future frightens me. Did this happen for you? Please talk.
~ Mr. Fifty
Dear Mr. Fifty,You're lucky. What's happening in your life now usually happens at about 38. Quentin Crisp used to say, "suddenly you're 38 and no one cares anymore. And all that time you thought it was your pep and personality. No, it was your beauty." This was all in his encouragement to have a style, and beauty could not be part of the style.

I never went through this as I was never that good-looking. Atleast in my own mind. And I was always about style. Which was all about not caring what others thought of me. Which worked well, my being gay.

In your case I think you might bite the bullet and realize it may be your turn in the barrel. How about paying attention to the next person who is interested in you, whether you are interested in him or not? Let him be the one who loves the most and you let him. Good relationships are often built upon this, and maybe you need a relationship right now.

What to Do About Aging...

Dear David,
I'm getting older and I don't like it at all. What are you doing about it?
~Old Fart

Dear Old Fart,
I love your pen name. It means you are not taking yourself too seriously. Okay, here is some of what is in my book "How to Be Gay in the 21st Century":

1. Laughable Loves. Please don't be getting crushes on younger men you can only long for. "I think the waiter likes me." Please.

2. Pornography. I learned this strangely from an interview with the famous architect Buckminster Fuller. Essential as you get older. You need variety to get excited. Do not be ashamed of this in any way.

3. Don't Embarass Yourself. Remember the things you noticed about older men when you were a younger man. No combovers, toupees, you can color your hair but go to a good hairdresser and have an expert job.

4. Loneliness. Just think of someone who is lonelier than you are and do something about it. Not necessarily another man. People in retirement homes, orphans, single women friends. Don't pay attention to someone who might be a potential love interest. Hidden agendas can backfire on you. And then you are even lonelier.

5. Hang Around with Younger People. We have a tendency to pick up mannerisms and style from our peer group. You really have no trouble getting in and out of cars. You don't slump. Stick with younger people and act like them.

I am at Bar 721 tomorrow night. Drop in. It's at 721 Lincoln Lane just north of Lincoln Road off Meridian towards the beach.