My lover likes to...

Dear David,
My lover likes to have sex in public places. I don't mean gay bars. I mean places like the movies. I am afraid of getting in trouble. What do you think?
~Fun Shy

Dear Fun Shy,
I used to have a lover that favored phone booths. Fortunately, or unfortunately, they are few and far between these days. Listen, lovers are hard to come by. I recommend you never leave the house without carrying a large "raincoat". You'll be fine. Just keep covered up.

Love, Kids & It's a Fabulous Life

Dear David Divine,
My lover/partner/husband and I have a small child and I like our life together very much except we seem to be slipping into all family and no sex. I think this is fatal in the long run, particularly for gay couples. I am sure you have ideas about this.
~Frust Rated

Dear Mr. Rated,
I have some friends who were in exactly the same situation as you are. What they did I think is inspirational. They set aside one night a week and that was their date night. They got a baby sitter, planned where to go, and came home ready for some rampaging. Plus, one of them works on weekends and has days off during the week. His partner is a freelancer and they also include an afternoon love fest, as their child is in school and they can frolic all over. Such a good idea. Work out something like his. You need to do it for your health and his! Really.
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Did you get tickets to "It's a Fabulous Life" At the Broward Center this week? I'm there for a little curtain speech Wednesday opening night. Come! Purchase your tickets here.

I am going out with a very handsome man...

Dear David,

I am going out with a very handsome man. The handsomest I have ever dated. He seems very okay and not too worked up about his looks, but this kind of man I have always found isn’t going to give up everyone for someone. What’s your take? 

~Beauty Lover

Dear Beauty Lover,

We all are beauty lovers. I wouldn’t drop him because you are worried he will drop you. Go ahead. Fall in love. Deeply. You will get all the magic and the wonder. If he doesn’t, that’s just too bad. And sometimes people fall in love with you because you fall in love with them. Go ahead. Give it a try.

Either he is into me or he’s the best actor in the world...

Dear David,
I am having a romance with a man many years my junior. Many. You write that you are not your own type, which encourages me. I will say this, either he is into me or he’s the best actor in the world. What do you think?  
~Nu Experience

Dear Nu,
He’s into you or the best actor in the world? What’s the difference? I always say, you’re only young twice. Live!

I have just turned fifty. I am still in very good shape...

Dear David,I have just turned fifty. I am still in very good shape. Just yesterday I was in a store and I heard the lady say, "guapo, guapo!" which means handsome in Spanish. So I guess I'm alright. I have always had a lot of attention, but just in the past few years much less. And less all the time. The future frightens me. Did this happen for you? Please talk.
~ Mr. Fifty
Dear Mr. Fifty,You're lucky. What's happening in your life now usually happens at about 38. Quentin Crisp used to say, "suddenly you're 38 and no one cares anymore. And all that time you thought it was your pep and personality. No, it was your beauty." This was all in his encouragement to have a style, and beauty could not be part of the style.

I never went through this as I was never that good-looking. Atleast in my own mind. And I was always about style. Which was all about not caring what others thought of me. Which worked well, my being gay.

In your case I think you might bite the bullet and realize it may be your turn in the barrel. How about paying attention to the next person who is interested in you, whether you are interested in him or not? Let him be the one who loves the most and you let him. Good relationships are often built upon this, and maybe you need a relationship right now.

My boyfriend has...

Dear David,
My new boyfriend has really ugly feet. Otherwise he is great-looking, full of fun, I really like him. But those feet! Sorry to be so superficial but somehow when he has his clothes off that's all I can think about.
~Defeeted

Dear Defeeted,
I love your name. Socks my dear! Socks. Get him some white athletic socks - a number of different kinds. that can be your little fashion show when it's bamboola time. And maybe buy him a gift certificate with a pedicutre. This is an easy solution!

What to do...

Dear David,
I had an unusual experience lately. I met a man whom I liked a lot. Good-looking, a really interesting job, great to talk to. We went out and had dinner, planned to meet again. On our second evening we went back to my apartment and went to bed together. It was great until suddenly he pulled back and slapped me in face really hard. That sort of ended the evening.  I really like this guy. Is there any reason to try to move forward with this?
~What to Do

Dear What to Do,
I know. I know. I don't like that kind of stuff either. I would suggest that if you like him enough, you meet again, maybe for lunch. I would just bring it up directly. How committed is he to this kind of sexual activity? Explain that you are not at all. See how he responds. I find the best way to move forward is to bring things out in the open. Love is between two people. It's not about doing specific stuff. See how it goes. Report back.

Job & men choices...decisions decisions!

Dear David,
I have a very unusual problem. I have been interviewing as I wish to change my job. I now have two excellent offers and I am torn as to which to take. Also, I am seeing two men, both of whom I have something going with. I am at a point where I must choose between one or the other. What an unusual quandary, I know. Too much of a good thing. Please, help me decide!
~B. Baffled

Dear B. Baffled,
De-Baffle yourself. You have come to the right place. I have two set rules, and actually perfect for just these situations. When taking a job, take the one that pays the most. Definitely. They are all very much the same finally. And when deciding between men, date the younger. Don't ask me why- just do it. I have made both these decisions a number of times. This is what experience has taught me.

I'm too embarrassed to...

​Hey David,
I've been seeing someone and when he sleeps over I'm too embarrassed to go poo in the morning. This hasn't happened with other sleepover "dates" that I've had. Does this mean I'm in love???
~Mr. B.M.

Dear B.M.,
It may well be. One of my rules (especially early on in the relationship) is to not go into the bathroom together. It can destroy the magic of you. I think you're picking up on this. But I don't quite understand. Are you sleeping in the bathroom? Can't you just go in by yourself and firmly close the door?

(photo via centroarchitecture.com)

Taking a break from sex?

Dear David,

What do you think about taking a break from sex?

~Justina Wonderin

Dear Justina W.,

When I was about 38 I sat up in bed one night, I was all alone and I said to myself, "What a relief!" Then fell back on the pillows and went to sleep. Men want to have you, then want it clear that they are smarter, better, etc. They are easy to handle, men. You know that. They just can't be allowed to be sure that they have you. That's one of the pleasures of being gay and not married.

So to answer your question, yes, you can get tired of sex but it's probably because you are tired of that person and tired of having to be the one running the relationship. I am a very romantic person but when the pain-in-the-neck outweighs the pleasure-in-his-arms, you can just get out of there. Of course, until the next one shows up. So, yes, you can take a break from sex. But it never goes away!

In love with someone who does not love me back...

Happy Monday my darlings! If you haven't heard yet, my latest Huffington Post article "Being Gay in the World of Mad, Mad Men: What It Was Really Like" is up and causing quite a stir - read it for yourself by clicking here. I would love to hear your comments!

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Dear David,
I always seem to be in love with someone who does not love me back. What is going on here?
~Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered

Dear Triple B.,
There are two things going here. One, you may just be having a run of bad luck. I would suggest that you consider letting someone love you instead of pursuing those impossible dreams of yours. Isn't there someone interested in you? Well, get involved. We all have to take our turn in the "barrel." And sometimes when someone loves you, you fall in love with them because they love you.

The other possibility is that you don't really want a romance so you choose the impossibility. Maybe all this love suffering is your version of being happy. Think about this...

If anyone reading needs advice about love, sex, relationships, life, etc. (gay or straight) - you just might find your question and answer posted here on David's Gay Dish. Contact me today my darlings! davidsgaydish@gmail.com 

Dating Someone from Another Culture/Religion

Dear David,
I have recently met a man from India who is very interested in me and I am very interested in him. But I have never been involved with someone from another culture/or different religion before. Should I advance with caution?
~At the Border Crossing

Dear B. C.,
A. The population of India for the most part are from the same mixed European stock as most of us in the United States. Actually, I have quite a lot of American Indian blood so I am more racially different than your new love interest. B. When Indian men are good looking they are the best looking men in the world! C. When you go to bed with someone you are not there to discuss religion. At least hopefully. Yes, advance madly. And if you decide not to, have him contact me.

Can I fall in love with a "Rentboy"?

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Doomed to endless repetition

Dear David,
I see a lot of my friends having sex lives that have only one goal - a hot guy. They go to strip clubs, etc. to try to pick up men. They will even pay a stripper to have sex with them. They don't seem to want to know the other person or like the other person. It's just the body and then if they never see them again, that's okay. I see this as leading nowhere but they don't seem to. What gives in your opinion?
 ~I.M. Confused

Dear I.M.,
It is confusing. Here's my take: men are very competitive. Even more than sexual, perhaps. Gay men grow up in two ways as I perceive it. Either they are the pursued or the pursuer. The good-looking guys get used to being the center of attention and it very hard for them to give up everybody for somebody.

Those who are the pursuers get stuck in a rhythm where they are "getting" the sexy guy, which is only a goal or a type, not a person - like what your friends are doing. They are hunting down "prey", obeying ancient instincts. I also think intelligence has a lot to do with it. If you can't take a step back and observe your own behavior, see where it leads or doesn't lead and then change it, you are doomed to endless repetition. Not very cheerful is it?

Not Really Passionate In Bed

Dear David,
Recently a number of my women friends have been complaining to me that their boyfriends, husbands, lovers, you name it are not really passionate in bed. They just want to cuddle and noodle around. I don't know what to tell them. Do you?
~A Quandry Question

Dear Quantry-Solver,
I think this is primarily a North American problem. I have long felt that the men in the US are repressed and just want to get sex over. This comes out of our English background, the Puritans and all that. Added to this is that most men are now spending a lot of time watching porn on the internet. My first question to these blokes would be, "Are you maturbating a lot?" My second would be, "How about turning off the internet and turning me on?"

Also, you should ask these women how feminine are they behaving? Are they wearing perfume? Sexy perfume, not sporty. Are they wearing feminine underwear, not sports bras? Are they wearing skirts and heels or are they in jeans and sneakers all the time? How's their hair? It is long, flowing and sensuous? We have to face it, women are prettier than men. Even though I am gay I have to admit it. And men get aroused sexually (heterosexual men) by the difference between them and their partner. IF you want that clam hammered, you have to do your part! And setting him up with a couple of glasses of wine and a good meal first is not a terrible idea. Come on! Get sexy! No one is more for equal rights for women than me, but men are actually more delicate than women emotionally. You have to seduce them every time. Unless they're Latin American, then watch out!

If anyone reading needs advice about love, sex, relationships, life, etc. (gay or straight), you just might find your question and answer posted here on Davids Gay Dish. Contact me today my darlings! davidsgaydish@gmail.com

Max Endowed

Dear David,
I have a very large "winkie" and when people see it they are frightened of it and I don't get laid. Any ideas?
~Max Endowed

Dear Max,
What a problem you have! There is a big market for the maximum endowed, whether you know it or not. And I think the classic phrase is, "I'm just going to put the head in." Sort of the equivalent of "The check is in the mail." I think you'll find it works.

My best asset...

Dear David,
I have a very nice a$$. It's probably my best feature. But the result is that everyone wants to f- me and I never get to f- anybody. What should I do?
~Just A$$-king

Dear Just A$$-king,
Something tells me that you probably wear really tight jeans and make sure everyone knows about your best asset, if you will pardon my expression. If that's what you're advertising, don't be surprised you get buyers. How about buying some loose jeans and trying to get someone fascinated with your personality? Give it a go.

(Photograph by A Y.Owen in 1957)

Meet Mannish Men!

Dear David's Gay Dish,
I am sort of giving up on meeting someone online. I am getting the impression that this online stuff is just to get laid. As quickly as possible. I am interested in something more than a little activity that is just one step up from masturbation, as you said in one of your blog posts last week. Do you have any ideas?
~Fed Up with Online

Dear Fed-erico,
I am going to give you the same advice I give to my female friends. You need to meet men somewhere that you get a chance to size them up a little before you decide you want to know them better. And I think that is in night school. And as I tell my gal pals, that a course like automobile repair or plumbing or carpentry. It won't interest you at all but mannish men will be there, and ten percent are supposed to be gay according to statistics. Please do this and report back to me. I think we're on to something here...

(Top Gear host James May photographed by Anthony Reginato)

Should You Pick Men Up at the Grocery Store?

Dear Dish, Dear David,
I don't think I come under the heading of "aging" as I am in my mid-forties, reasonably fit, well-dressed, quite gainfully employed. Recently I have decided to be a little more aggressive and when I meet young men at the supermarket or at parties I give them my card. No one ever calls me back. I'm beginning to get depressed.
~Still Not Over the Hill

Dear Hilly,
I think it is because you are too much on top of the hill, did you ever think of that? You are probably so swell when you meet that young, underpaid guy at the Publix that he automatically thinks you are out of his league. I suggest you go to more expensive parties and exchange cards with people at the Bal Harbor Mall here in Miami. You're doing the right thing. Just don't underestimate yourself.

(Photo via shutterstock.com)

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I am hosting 2 evenings of singalong for the Sound of Music at the Manor in Fort Lauderdale April 29th & having an "Ab Fab Yard Sale" on April 30th. Mark your calendars, more details to come.