Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Doomed to endless repetition

Dear David,
I see a lot of my friends having sex lives that have only one goal - a hot guy. They go to strip clubs, etc. to try to pick up men. They will even pay a stripper to have sex with them. They don't seem to want to know the other person or like the other person. It's just the body and then if they never see them again, that's okay. I see this as leading nowhere but they don't seem to. What gives in your opinion?
 ~I.M. Confused

Dear I.M.,
It is confusing. Here's my take: men are very competitive. Even more than sexual, perhaps. Gay men grow up in two ways as I perceive it. Either they are the pursued or the pursuer. The good-looking guys get used to being the center of attention and it very hard for them to give up everybody for somebody.

Those who are the pursuers get stuck in a rhythm where they are "getting" the sexy guy, which is only a goal or a type, not a person - like what your friends are doing. They are hunting down "prey", obeying ancient instincts. I also think intelligence has a lot to do with it. If you can't take a step back and observe your own behavior, see where it leads or doesn't lead and then change it, you are doomed to endless repetition. Not very cheerful is it?

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