Is the whole world getting fat or is it just this country?

Dear David,
You seem to travel a lot. Is the whole world getting fat or is it just this country?
~Tonnage A. Lert

Dear Tonnage,
No, my friend. The rest of the world beyond the U.S. is not getting fatter. Some parts are getting thinner. We are fat here in the U.S. Have you ever been to an airport in Chicago? You can hardly get through it the thighs and buttocks are so enormous. I think all of this poundage is really a reaction to sex. I think Americans are afraid of it and are hiding their sex parts under folds of flesh. You can't have it if you can't find it, right? I live in Uraguay part of the year. The men there are very hot, muscular and trim. Go for a visit and take a vacation from all the pounds and pounds in the northern hemisphere.