Wednesday, March 23, 2011
"I have a newly re-kindled romance that made a kind of start several years ago and has now reappeared. I am trying to conduct it as a slow-growing, heart-warming love relationship instead of what I usually did in the past: a great big bonfire that burned the house down and everything else with it. Actually it's going great.
The problem is I also have a very important woman friend who has stood by me through many of the ups and downs, and whom I see a lot of socially, going to concerts, the theater and dining out with friends. My new lover does not like sharing his time with me AND woman friend. And she equally doesn't enjoy social threesomes with both of us. What am I to do? I don't want to lose her friendship and I am definitely not going to give up my lover.
Dear "Torn Between Two Affections,"
I have a friend whose lover lives in a very nearby city and I think what he does may work very well for you. He sees his lover/boyfriend/husband from Friday night through Sunday. They spend that time together, go to the theater, socialize, but always as a dedicated couple. During the week they are in their separated cities with lots of work and school responsibilities. Very occupied. And in that time they see their other friends. This could work very well for you. See your ladyfriend during the week. Watch TV, hangout, shop, do that girl stuff I'm assuming you have been doing together.
I might point out that she perhaps should be looking for a heterosexual lover of her own. Yes? No? This is something else to think about. If she fancies you then she is obviously barking up the wrong tree. And why would she do that? The plot thickens psychologically.