My boyfriend insists on talking dirty to me while we have sex. He uses demeaning sayings like “Take it, b#%*h” or “You know you want it, sl#t.” This turns me off. He doesn’t do it all the time but he does it a lot. What do I do?
~M.I. Too nice
Dear M. I.,
I don’t think you’re too nice. But he isn’t really calling you those names, he is indulging in “repetitive sex.” Which I don’t like. Many relationships wither because the sex is always the same. That’s why a lot of gay men like one night stands. They can do the same tired old thing every time with a different person. I think you may want to try some new stuff on him to see if that stimulates him. Or just sit him down and say you have to do some innovative stuff. Drag him to a public bathroom. Or do it in an elevator late at night and hope no one else gets in. Stuff like that. Then he’ll probably say things like “Are you crazy?!” Which is much better.