Tuesday, April 9, 2013
What to do when your lover overreacts...
I am slightly over 50, in good shape, and have been very much enjoying a new romance with a man not quite a decade younger than myself. He needs to lose a little weight and frequently mentions this himself. But when I dropped a remark that it might be good to lose some weight, he exploded into a hysterical fit and disappeared, then sending me lots of very uncomplimentary emails. The reaction was out of proportion to the incident. I don't really want this to be the end. In your opinion, is it?
Dear What's next?,
The party is definitely not over in my outsider's opinion. You are somewhat more mature obviously and just from having seen a lot of men in my time, your new guy may just be extremely sensitive right now as he advances into his 40s and his looks are shifting into something more mature. As you undoubtedly have read here in my blog, every relationship is "the lover" and "the loved one." In this case, you are definitely "the lover". When he contacts you again, and he will, just remember you have to coddle your loved one. Make him feel good about himself. Try to keep him away from donuts, but in a polite way. He obviously feels strongly about you or he wouldn't have reacted so explosive. Hang in there, apologize and move forward.