Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Help! // advice needed on unrequited love

Dear David,
I am seeking your advice on unrequited love. Six months ago I met someone and totally fell for him. The first month was bliss but then it went cold – less contact and no more fun times in the sack. Up until recently our relationship has been in "friends" mode while I secretly yearned for more. Finally I had a chat with him and he doesn't feel the same way. In fact he now has a long distance boyfriend. I want to remain friends with him as he's smart and fun to be with and he's expanded my comfort zone considerably. He also considers me one of his best friends. Any tips to help me let go and move on?
~One-way lover

Dear One-way lover,
I know, I know, I know. You've got it bad and it's hard to do anything about it. I think you have to at least develop a style of dealing with this lost love as though you can take it or leave it alone. Very often men want the thing that doesn't particularly want them. You can run around with him a bit but control yourself and don't make it seem that you really care. You may find him rebounding. As I've said before, in every relationship there is the lover and the loved one. You are the lover and you have to "manipulate" the situation. Act like you don't care either way. He may well renew his interest.

And on the other hand, you will appear available to other guys who may well move in on you. Having someone pursue you is a good way to get over another guy. And please, don't just sit around hoping he'll be back. It will just ruin your looks. Stay out there in the playing field!

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