Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 1

My first episode of "Come On Out!" with your host, me, David Leddick. This is my new show to encourage people who are not "out" or as "out" as they should be to "Come On Out!".

I'm going to interview a different person every Friday, it should be really fun and interesting! Enjoy!

Today's very first episode is interviewing my dear friend Douglas Payne about his own personal story about coming out.

Seeing Red, Red, Red!

Dear David the Diviner,
You are always able to look into the fashion future and tell us what to get ready for. I lately see magazines pushing red, red, red for women and men. I think red is so very unlikely for men, stuck as they are in gray, brown, navy blue and black. What do you think?
~Raring to Wear Red

Dear Mr. Raring,
Actually I think you are going to be all right. I am seeing hint of red appearing that could actually be wearable.

You have to be careful what you wear with red. Not that they might think you are gay. They already know that. But red should go with your skintone. You don't want to disappear into it.

I think the main fashion news is the shorter jacket. Here are some new looks from Dolce & Gabbana, Lanvin and some people called Decenio, of whom I have never heard. I think all of these new shorter jackets looks good:

Here is a red outfit with the weird pockets I am not voting for:

Handsomest Man in the World ~ David Gandy, again!

It's Handsomest Man in the World again today and Mr. David Gandy is back again. He is advertising "Light Blue" cologne from Dolce and Gabbana. After much exposure it is finally dawning on me that is what he is advertising. I think it is that scanty little white bathing suit that is distracting me.

And an additional mention. I don't get Matthew McConnaughy. At all. Is that chest supposedly some sort of sexy thing? My trainer thinks he's hot, Is this my fault or his?

Public vs. Pubic Hair?

Dear David,
Reading your blog with great interest and noticed in last Thursday's blog you refer to Rebekah Brooks, of the Rupert Murdoch scandal, and her "public" hair. Did you mean to say "pubic"? Or is there now a difference between public hair and private hair? I, too, think when I see a woman flaunting great masses of hair what hair she is really inviting a man to fall into. Men are such fools, aren't they?
~Berto the French Bombshell, From Paris

Dear Berto,
Please don't go off near me. But I guess there's no great risk of that with you on the other side of the ocean. Yes, my dear, I was referring to Ms. Brooks very-not-public hair but I think my blog mistress got shy and decided to clean my act up. Hi everyone, blog mistress Jennifer here speaking for a moment: I, in fact encourage David to use dirty words - I just type too fast sometimes! ;) Back to the blog...

It is strange, isn't it? Ms. Brooks is sort of the Madame de Pompadour of our time. There is a great video somebody did about the Rupert Murdoch scandal, check it out by clicking here.

When you see it you'll see that Ms. Brooks was quite a beauty in her day but she should shift gears away from her trademark hair. Like Bernadette Peters. Enough all ready. Bernadette should cut off her hair, go to France, do a great dramatic low-budget shocking film and start all over again as a serious film actress. She has a great face in close-up and can really act. Well, enough about hair and how it can be a trap.

(Photo is from the Murdoch scandal youtube parody)

What is the Optimal Kind of Love?

Dear David,
I have had two love affairs recently, neither of which left me feeling possessive, (a tell tale sign of finding the one). In one affair the sex was amazing and the love strong and even. The other was a four day romance, the sex not so good, but I went into free fall, crying for days after she left to return home. But no feelings of possessiveness. What is the optimal kind of love?

Notice the above question references heterosexual love affairs but you should not be surprised. David's Gay Dish has almost fifty percent female hits and now evidently straight men, too. Here is my reply:

Dear Confused but not Quitting (Your inquiry was unsigned but this is what I'm calling you):
My own rule is that you are in love when you don't want someone else to have them (him, her, whatever). Which equates to your feeling of possessiveness. My question is whether you have ever had that feeling of possessiveness (my guess is that you have) and what happened? I believe in the grand amour and I don't really make a practice of sleeping with someone unless I feel that electrical zing-zing and "this is it," I don't think sex is a function like going to the bathroom and brushing your teeth. But you are a heterosexual man and they generally feel their manliness is being questioned if they don't stick it into whatever is offered (from the female side). I guess I wonder if you should have even had these two little flings. Definitely, if you don't mind them going away, it isn't love. And I might add, I think the more you sleep around the less likely it is that you will fall in love. And if you don't fall in love you wind up at the end of your life feeling unfulfilled. Which I think happens to most folks...


(Photo from the movie "Between Two Women" directed by Eric von Stroheim, 1937)

Dating & Self Esteem ~ David's Gay Dish ~ Video

My thoughts on my new Betty Ford Clinic bag, as well as thoughts on dating and self esteem.

News Empire Is Falling

Dear David G.D.,
You are right. I have fallen head over heels for Oscar Pistorius. Am I right in using that expression? At any rate, I am currently quite fascinated with the Rupert Merdoch scandal. You mentioned this in your sun flares blog. Are you finding this all quite wild, as I am?
~I Love a Scandal

Dear Love a Scandal,
I am somewhat prone to love a scandal myself and I love the 21st century where if you think you can get away with something the part is over. Somebody takes a picture on their phone and before you can even get home the whole world knows. But what particularly facinates me with our rash of scandals are the very obvious things that nobody mentions.

In the recent Dominique Straus-Kahn mess, everyone ignores the fact that he is somewhat over the his and to force his erection on the maid is a little strange. Especially just before lunch with your daughter on your way to the airport. I think he was so thrilled at the sudden emergence he would have jumped anyone: the waiter, the bellboy, the checkout clerk.

As for Mr. Murdoch, why are we all pretending that Ms. Brooks of all the lavish hair is like a daughter to Mr. Murdoch? I don't think so. This is a lady that started out in the typing pool. No one seems to want to go near her personal history but there is surely a lot of hanky-panky involved there. And I have to put this in. when I see someone in business with all those curls flowing everywhere I can't help but think about their public hair. Am I wrong? I don't want to get arrested but I think you kids should put this all together.

Amazing isn't it? The most powerful man in the world and it is all falling apart. The hackers are getting hacked. It will spread across this country I am sure. Hopefully before the election. A lot of careers are going to go down the drain. Oh, those sun flares...

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Oscar Pistorius

Hi Kids,
It's Wednesday, Handsomest Man in the World day. I have three choices but my number one is Oscar Pistorius. The double-amputee sprinter who is dashing about on metal springs. He's doing an ad campaign for Thierry Mugler:

Mr. Pistorius is seriously hot. Have you seen him before? Extremely handsome and in the Mugler ad he has the body from heaven. This is one great looking guy, and if he decides to chase you I don't think there is much doubt that he is going to catch you.

Are You Flaming?

Dear David,
I just saw something on TV about sun flares and how they affect electric connections on earth and even affect human emotions. What do you think of this?
~Flaring but not Flaming

Dear F. but not F.,
Were you never flaming? I bet you were. Anyway, I am not much for what I call Woo-Woo stuff and I do not think all is coming to an end in 2012. From my experience nothing ever works out as anticipated. It's always something quite unanticipated.

But lately I am besieged with phone calls from friends who are getting a divorce, having a nervous breakdown, must change their jobs, and so on and so on. I am telling them it's the sun flares. We are having flare-ups at this moment and something is happening here with the near East in chaos, England falling into press scandals, bizarre weather here and there. And why not? It has certainly happened historically. The Third Reich for example. A country that created some of the greatest music and writing and art suddenly goes nuts and follows Hitler over a cliff, devastating the world in the process. Makes you wonder.

Evidently in 1869 there was a flare up that destroyed the entire telegraph system in the United States, the only electrical system at that time. And how about all those extra-terrestrial sightings lately? I love it, personally. Whatever shocks we're in for are going to come from left field. But imagine a world where you cannot use the phone. And there is no air conditioning. I come from that world. We had our first phone when I was seven. And never had air conditioning in Montague, Michigan. Certainly, there is nothing to be bored about right now.

When to Say I Love You

Dear David,
I have been very much involved with another man for the past year. We like being together very much and share a real intimacy. But I have never told him I love him or talked about my deep feelings for him. And he does not talk about this either. I have been very hurt in the past and somehow I don't seem to be able to tell him how I really feel. Your advice, please.
~Hesitant

Dear Hesitant,
I am beginning to think actions speak louder than words. My immediate reaction is that of course you must tell your lover you love him. But I think he knows that or you wouldn't be behaving as you do.

One of my good friends has recently been very involved with a coworker at her job. They clicked, saw a lot of each other for a month and evidently became deeply involved emotionally. She is a beautiful and emotional women and when she poured out her feelings to him he froze. And departed. Probably the intensity of his own feelings frightened him. Men and women are quite different. I read some research years ago and at that time women defined "intimacy" as a very personal talk. Men defined it as working in the garden together.

For myself, I think men are like fish. You have to get the hook into them and then slowly, slowly reel them in. Men don't want to feel as much as women do. Particularly in the U.S. culture. Feelings are seen as being effeminate. If it were me I would say one day, "I know you don't want me to say stuff like "I love you" but I am sure you know that I do." And leave it at that.

Of course if this lover is Latin American that is a whole other ball game. He should be able to handle a lot of emotions. And remember, even if they slip away, they are never gone for good until one of you is dead.

How to Handle A Breakup ~ Davids Gay Dish ~ Video

Here is my advice on breaking up and how to handle it with style and class.

Fashion Forward ~ Woman's Haircut & RL Wimbledon Jacket

It’s fashion day. I came across this hairdo/haircut in Smagazine, which if you haven’t read it you must. This is where magazines are going. It not only brings you the news, it IS the news. The photographs are very far out. This is from a coverage of actress Jena Malone. Here styling was excellent and the hair looks really new. If you have long straight hair and don’t know what to do with it, here it is. It looks very grown-up, whereas the long straight hair is too school girly for this century, don’t you think?

Also, here is a picture of a Ralph Lauren Wimbledon jacket. This is the one jacket to get for the summer I think. It will be fine with everything. Are you brave enough?

Lastly, I was in Philadelphia several weeks ago. W.C. Fields once said, “I went to Philadelphia but it was closed.” One could get that impression. And when I lived in New York we always said, “I was in Philadelphia last weekend for a year.” Now it seems to be changing. There is a new neighborhood around Passyunk Avenue in South Philadelphia that is quite with it. Good-looking people there, too. The store to check out is Metro men’s clothing. 1615 Passyunk Avenue. Tom Longo is the owner. Really excellent.

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Stefan Pinto, again!

Here it is, Wednesday. Handsomest Man in the World Day again! And back again for the title is Stefan Pinto with his Voskos yogurt ad. He really is something:

Also included are some photos from a new play he is appearing in on the West Coast, in Los Angeles. He plays Rudolf Valentino. He should be an inspiration to all of you. He has come a long way from a fat teenager wearing glasses:

Hobbies All Your Own

Dear David,
I need to be involved in a project that does not have anything to do with another man. Tell me what to do.
~Unfocused

Dear Unfocused,
Are you getting a bit older? This is often the case when there is a need to concentrate on something. Here it is: Study another language. I would recommend Spanish. Particularly if you are living here in Miami. Spanish is the most widely spoken language in the world. South America is going to be increasingly important in this century economically. And spanish-speaking men are something else altogether. How to do it? Go to your local college. Take evening classes. They are not very expensive. And you have to study to prepare which is great for your concentration.

I am currently studying Spanish at Miami-Dade in downtown Miami. The class is three hours an evening, twice a week and needs a lot of preparation. Last semester my professor was really great and this semester, which I have just started, my professor is equally excellent.

We only have about six students in my class and they are all serious people. Last semester I was the worst student in the class as I had to miss some sessions. It was very humiliating, which I think is also very good for older people who are not used to it. It makes you feel younger.

Also, my dear unfocused, if you speak two languages it is highly unlikely that you will become senile. Some say never. Some say it delays it. Either way sounds good to me. Come on, let us habla espanol together.

What To Do About The Seven Year Itch...

Dear David,
My lover and I have been together for seven years and the seven year itch set in for him this year. We have been very monogamous and I have been perfectly happy with this. But suddenly he wants to open up our relationship.

He suggested we do three-ways but I have seen where that goes. For a few months I sat back and let him go out and get laid on his own, and we still had sex also. About a month ago I told him I don’t want to do that anymore.

He has now gotten into great shape, been photographed showing off his body, and is now living in a part of our house that we made into a separate apartment for rental. What’s your take on all this? What do you think is coming up next?
~Feeling Lost & Lonely

Dear Lost & Lonely,
I can’t say, “Don’t feel that way.” It’s inevitable. What I would guess is happening is that your lover is getting older, is probably good-looking and needs the ego support of other men finding him attractive. The English eccentric Quentin Crisp always said, “You must have a style and it can’t be your looks. They go.” Your lover’s style has probably been his looks and now he’s getting panicky.

What people don’t seem to understand is that a relationship is all about intimacy. The one and one of you make more than two. Once that is opened up the intimacy is gone and so is the relationship. Now you’re just roommates with a little sex thrown in.

On the other hand, a romance is never done until one party is dead. He may want to come back after these adventures are over. That is what you must decide. Will you want him back? Is that connection still there for you? If it is, I’d wait awhile and see what happens. You can forgive him.

On the other hand, if you feel he has killed it dead, I would get over it as rapidly as possible. If you share property, get rid of it. Move into your own digs. Don’t keep seeing him. You need to shift your attention away so that destiny can come sweeping in with someone who will really want someone like you; a person who understands what intimacy is.

Blog Hits From All Around the World ~ DavidsGayDish ~ Video

Happy Friday everyone! In this video I talk about all the interesting blog views we've been getting here at Davids Gay Dish from all around the world.

Do You Have Any Secrets?

Dear David,
Do you have any secrets?
~Your Secret Friend

Dear Secret Friend,
How nice to have a secret friend. Who are you anyways? To answer your question, no, I do not have any secrets. I do not offer up some things about my life, but if you ask I will tell you anything and everything. But you must brace yourself.

Apropos of that, I have had four great loves in my life, and one of them died a month ago. His name was Frank Andrea. He was a very handsome actor, singer, dancer who worked under the name Frank Andre. I met him when I managed the Robert Joffrey Ballet School in New York and was involved with him for ten years. From his age of 20 to 30. He had a measure of success, dancing with the Royal Winnipeg Ballet and performing in Off-Broadway shows and a daytime TV soap opera.

He lost his grip on himself and at one point I had to decide whether to go crazy with him or to leave him. And I left him. He lived on a lot longer. I paid his rent and then bought the house he lived in, in Philadelphia, so he would always be secure.

This last weekend I had to go to Philadelphia and empty that house and put it up for sale. It was a long road back into my own past. We had not been lovers for more that 40 years but there was a lot of memorabilia in the house. Now it feels as though a huge door has been slammed shut on part of my past and I do not regret this. But there is something haunting about what happens to youth and beauty. It is unavoidable but never acceptable.

Fortunately for me I am very involved with someone else right now so the door isn't slamming shut on me.

Here are some photographs of Frank as he was when I was so much in love with him:

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Daniel Villa

Wednesday is Handsomest Man in the World Day and here is the gorgeous Daniel Villa, a Columbian actor and model. Read an interview with him here over at the website Hunk du Jour. Enjoy!

Mid-Summer 2011 Fashion Advice

Dear David,
Summer is upon us and I don’t know what to wear. All the men’s fashion that I see looks like it is designed for men from some other planet. What is your plan?
~Fashion Frantic

Dear Frantic,
If there is one thing you should not be frantic about it is fashion. I am so hopelessly conservative as I get older but always lie one bit of strange flash about what I am wearing so people know that I am not from Kalamazoo. Here are a few thoughts:

1. I kind of like this blue jean blazer. This one is Ralph Lauren. I think you have to be cleaned up when you wear it and never with blue jeans. Wear it with white pants or shorts, a white T-shirt and a hankerchief in the pocket, you could be very cool:

2. I also like this bright red blazer. You have to play this way down with a minimum of accessories but it could be very good. I kind of like the T-shirt under a blazer look. And you don’t need the pocket hankerchief:

3. Haircuts. Although I am a lot of longer hair in the press I am not seeing it in person here in Miami Beach, which is always very edgy. I think these looks are probably the same haircut, messed up and combed down. I am wearing the side part with shortish hair and I think I look swell:

4. Here’s an Armani look, white jacket and black pants and bag. I liked this alot. Somehow you don’t expect black and white in the summer:

5. One last brand-new look that is actually for next Spring. Are we working a year ahead in Milan? Guess so. This pale ice cream green I think looks great. I can see a suit in it. And if you can find it or make it or dye it, you’re a year ahead:

Remember this, with all these new looks coming out you should still look like a guy. Men who like men who like men, for the most part. This new flowered look I can’t imagine is going to work on anybody:

Happy 4th of July!

A short message from me on the day that stands for liberty and freedom. I love the United States and what it stands for all over the world. A friend of mine from France came over when he was fully grown and after being in New York for just a few days he said, “The great thing about this country is that anything is possible.” And that is true. No matter where you start from, you can become a star, you can rise above your beginnings, you can be happy on your own terms.

And that is my message for you today. Try to be happy on your own terms. Find out who you are and then try to create a life that is right for that person. Recently I talked about the writer Paula Fox. In one of her short stories she quotes another writer who said “When you start to live a life that is a copy of someone else’s, you stop living.”

I think many people do this. And why do some many American faces look disappointed? They are not living their own lives. They are living a life someone else told them would be good.

So in this day that stands for freedom, do not forget to live your own life.

(dog photo via flickr blog)

Gay Pride Ft. Lauderdale ~ Video

Hello Darlings,
Above is a video from Gay Pride Ft. Lauderdale last weekend. Also, here is a photograph of me in my fun sparkly jacket:

Have a lovely weekend everyone!