I am in the Huffington Post today!

I am in the Huffington Post today! Please click here to read my article!

(Photo still from Movie My Week with Marilyn)
I saw the movie My Week with Marilyn a couple of nights ago and Michelle Williams does capture something. Overall the movie is quite grown-up and creates a lot of very individual people. Only Kenneth Branagh shouldn't have been in it - he looks like a side of beef. Laurence Olivier was very handsome.

(Photo still from Movie My Week with Marilyn)
However, what I really want to say is that Handsomest Man in the World today is definitely Dominic Cooper. He plays Milton Greene, the photographer in the movie. A small role which he handles very well, but Ye Gods, that guy smolders. He is so hot. He needs some big movie role of the kind that Cary Grant played. I never think that movie people are really sexy but Dominic Cooper has got it. Yikes!
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Dear David,
This is a stupid question but when you get into bed knowing you are going to have sex are you always naked?
~Nude or Not

Dear Nude or Not,
This is actually a very good question. Never am I completely nude. No, I say, no. They need to tear something off, or struggle to get it here or there - you know? I once had a pair of pajamas (years ago) that when I got up in the morning was all over the bedroom in little pieces. I called the office and told them I would not be in that day...

Is it Hot in Here or is it Just Me?

Hey! I am going to be on the Huffington Post blog tomorrow. They asked me to write an article about how I came to write "How to Be Gay in the 21st Century." Of course, I feel that I am not worthy, but you know how I love publicity! Click here for the link and please bookmark the page and visit tomorrow. My PR guy and blog mistress tell me that this is really important, so please check it out and comment, respond, repost on twitter and facebook, do whatever comes to mind, please!

I am starting work on a new book Hitting 70 Doing 100 and my new novel for Spring has gone to the printer Meaningless Hugs, Meaningless Kisses about being gay over 70. Some people want me to write my memoirs. I don't know. But I have a great title, Is it Hot in Here or is it Just Me? I think my writing is just like my acting. I am not very talented but I get it done and people like it. So I plunge forward. Sorry to write so much about myself but I guess it is my blog.

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Dear David,
Is it inevitable in every relationship that the sex becomes more routine and dwindles away?
~Dwindling

Dear Dwindling,
There is a song title there somewhere...Dwindling While You Cuddle Near Me. No my darling, no, no, no. You have heard this from me many times, but I was with someone for thirty years and I never didn't feel like sleeping with him. Did I push his buttons the same way? I think not but I always held his interest.

The thing with men is that you have to make them want to own you. They should not want anyone else to have you. As I say in my book and in my new show based on the book - You have to look good and always be fun to be with. What is crucial is that you have a life separate from him. Your job, your music, your writing, your something that doesn't include him and you like it a lot. I saw the movie My Week with Marilyn last night and was reminded of her song, After You Get What You Want You Don't Want It. I don't care if you've been married thirty years, they should always feel somewhere you are having a good time without them. My quote, "Always leave as though you are going somewhere more interesting." Then they want to hold onto you sexually.

Standing On Ceremony: The Gay Marriage Plays

Listen, if you are around New York you should go see "Standing on Ceremony: The Gay Marriage Plays" Nine short plays by some famous (Paul Rudnick, Neil LaBute) and less famous writers and really funny. Go on. You owe yourself some fun!
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Dear David,
My partner's penis veers off to the left when it is erect and that sort of bothers me. Can anything be done about this?
~Penis Perplexed

Dear Penis Perplexed,
Can anything be done about you? It's not how it looks. It's how it feels. Turn out the lights. Or shut your eyes. You are something!

Come On Out! with David Leddick Episode 14

Welcome to today's episode of Come On Out! with David Leddick, where I bring back my pal Heriberto about his personal coming out story. Enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving & Fall Fashion Advice

Happy Thanksgiving you turkeys! You know, I never had a turkey when I was young. My mother disliked it. We always had chicken. People ate a lot of different stuff. The turkey industry had not kicked in yet. We didn't have a lot of marshmellows in things either. I do remember my relatives doing a lot of stuff with jello with shredded carrots in it. That was the salad. And the cranberry sauce. Did anyone ever like that? A holiday devoted to eating is not for me. As I get older I like the national holidays less and less. Lots of people trying to express feelings they don't have. The only holiday I like is Valentine's day. I can always feel love.
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Here's fashion input for Fall, kids:

I want to speak up for the J.Crew catalog. Those people are on top of it fashion wise and the prices are right. Here's a great man's jacket - the right shape, well-tailored, English wool, fully lined and $298. I want to buy it and I live in Miami Beach and would never wear it.

Also, if you need an overcoat. The Mayfair topcoat looks great. More expensive at $428 but it's exactly right: You won't need another one for a long time. I think the navy blue is best. No, I am not being paid by J. Crew to say all of this. Their women's and children's stuff is very on, also, in my opinion. Kind of makes you want to be a girl. Well, that and other things.

This very expensive Armani overcoat has the same look but longer. I have loved this look in the past.

The expensive T-shirt under a jacket I think looks great and is very modern. Good-bye dress shirt. (Hugo Boss)

Darlings, this is really the look if you can handle it. Little jacket. Big pants. Excellent hair.

Thoughts On: Occupy Protesting, Handsomest Man in the World & Brazil

I just wanted to say a few words about all the "Occupy" activities that are going on across the country. You don't have to be Einstein to know that sending the police in to throw everyone out is the dumbest thing you could do. As they just did in New York down on Wall Street. Obviously more and more young people will be galvanized to rush right back in. Which they did.

And some not so young people. I'm going over to the "Occupy" people here in Miami to check them out. This is how revolutions start. People are unhappy. A few start demonstrating and others join in. It happened in the 1930's. It happened in the 1960's. We're due. And the people who are powerful see to have learned nothing. That is what amazes me. They can't be that stupid. As Bette Davis said so tellingly in "All About Eve" - "fasten your seat belts, we're in for a bumpy ride."

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Yes, It's Handsomest Man in the World Day. I have seen this ad a number of times and keep coming back to look at the guy in the turquoise sweater. That's a great face.

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Dear David,
I know you were just in Brazil in Sao Paulo. What do you think?
~I Am Curious

Dear I am Curious,
Scary and interesting. A city of 20 million. When you fly over it you can't really believe what you're seeing. In a huge valley full of low hills. Skyscrapers in the valleys. Trees and lower buildings on the hills. No real downtown. All sort of different neighborhoods. And few people have a second language. Portuguese, that's it. We better get it into our heads that this is a country larger than the US. Like this country, some see no reason to learn another language. In conversation, people say they have no wish to leave Brazil. Some similarities to the US and very rich in money, oil, jewels, gold, you name it. Brace yourself.


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Thoughts on the Sandusky Penn State Scandal

(photo via commons.wikimedia.org)

The Coach Sandusky scandal at Penn State. Oceans of newspaper reporting and TV stuff. And quite obviously football and masculinity were far more important than those kids. I played all the sports in high school long ago and it was no surprise to me. All that horsing around in the shower is for one reason only.

Reading all this coverage I immediately thought, "Do they think this was only happening at Penn State? Why aren't they checking what's happening/happened at other colleges? And suddenly Syracuse University has a coach, Mr. Fine, a longtime friend of their head coach, being turned in. My guess is that there's going to be a lot more young guys stepping up to tell about having to "put out" to be given attention in the sports world. We all know that's what goes on in Hollywood and Broadway. Why should the sports world be any different? It's the homosexuality thing that gets the public. Our big sports heroes fooling around with another guy? Ooh, Ooh, Ooh!
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Dear Diva-David,
What gives with the porn industry, gay and straight, becoming such a major think in our country? I like porn from time to time but people seem to be watching it all the time on line. Doing it isn't the same thing as looking at it.
~Porn-fed Up

Dear Porn-fed Up,
What do you mean Diva-David? What did I ever do to you? I'm just as plain as an old boot when you get to know me. As for those porniacs. It's all this electronic stuff. Research shows that more people prefer messaging to speaking. Nobody wants to run the risk of actually being judged. They just want to send a lot of baloney about themselves out to people they call "friends" whom they've never met and then watch people doing what they are too timid to do. A big part of this country is heading into the closet. Please don't go in there.

J. Edgar Movie Review

(Photo by Keith Bernstein – © 2011 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.)

Last night I saw "J. Edgar", the new movie about J. Edgar Hoover starring Leonardo DiCaprio, directed by Clint Eastwood. Although beautifully filmed with great sets, costumes and makeup I was baffled at their presentation of Hoover, head of the F.B.I. for many years. In the the gay world he was known to be homosexual with a lover who worked with him and often getting into drag. The adage, "When you have a secret life the only one it's a secret to is you" could never have been truer. And this was years ago.

The movie presents him as a man who loved another man but probably never acted upon it, the movie even has the man he loved discover his nude body in death and cover it up with a bedspread as though he had never seen it before. Come on.

And only upon his mother's death does Hoover put on her necklace and dress and fall on the floor sobbing. Really. The whole thing is so overly dramatic and to a gay man the sensibility is ridiculous. I am sure the two of them were just a rowdy old pair of queens getting into bad drag at even worse parties. I saw photographs of him in a wig and a dress decades ago. So why all this delicacy? A very long, slow, dark movie about a really awful guy who blackmailed everybody and was quite crazy. DiCaprio is very sensitive in the role but I don't think dreadful, bossy old J. Edgar was much like that. And be so nervous about "Was he gay?", "Did he do drag?" It seemed dated. I left the theater wondering why they even made this movie.

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(Photographer: Ron Nickel. Collection: Design Pics. Royalty Free)

Dear David,
I follow your blog even though I am a woman. I find a lot of what you say interesting and relevant. I was in a relationship for seven years. We were engaged to be married. Then it all fell apart. Now a lot of men find me attractive and I am involved in a number of romances at the same time. Am I not behaving the way you think I should?
~Popular Gal

Dear Popular Gal,
You go get 'em, gal! If you were the masculine side of the fallen apart relationship everyone would be admiring you. So do I.

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 13

Welcome to today's episode of Come On Out! with David Leddick, where I interview my pal Heriberto about his personal coming out story. Enjoy!

Fashion Talk - Is this the new look? I hope not.

My fashion thoughts this week are about your hair:

1. Is this the new look? I hope not. Your haircut or hairdo should be designed to make you look better. I don’t think this does so.

2. I have never been a fan of dreadlocks but I saw this and thought it looked really good. Really romantic. If you have the hair to do this I would certainly consider it.

3. I am beginning to see a lot of this slicked down side-part and I like it. I think this neo-1930’s look tends to make any man better-looking. And isn’t this what you have in mind? I am even doing it myself.
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Dear David,
I live in Fort Lauderdale and the other day I stopped into a cafe for a cup of coffee and there was my ex. We were lovers about a decade ago. He left town when we broke up. He was in Fort Lauderdale for a week visiting and clearly had no plan to call me or see me, though he knew exactly where I was.

Later I felt very upset and rejected. He was the only man I have been really involved with. I learned alot and changed alot because of him. Yet evidently I meant very little to him. Was I overreacting? I am still upset.
~A Fool for Love

Dear Foolish Lover,
We can get a great deal from a romance where you are the lover and the other person is the loved one. Just congratulate yourself for having really lived and felt and loved and grown when you were with him. He’s the loser. In lot’s of ways.

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Model Named Leebo

I have a strange Handsomest Man in the World today. A model named Leebo in bizarre clothes and good abs. He’s got something. Sort of like James Franco, is this really a star? Tons of press but I am not aware of a really important film or stage role. Am I wrong? Please let me know if you know.
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Dear David,
I am interested in a South American man with whom I had a kind of whirlwind romance a few months ago. We met, we crashed into each other’s arms, we had what might have been the best sex I ever had, and then it has drastically slowed down. He is always very busy with real life responsibilities (I believe it isn’t other men) and then when we meet we tussle and rustle somewhat, I feel he is aroused in a big way then he just wants to cuddle. What’s going on here? What would you do?
~Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered

Dear Triple B,
What immediately comes to my mind is that he is having flare-ups of herpes or something like that and doesn’t want to infect you. It’s that or he really isn’t interested in having your relationship go further. I think you can have a talk. Don’t be shy. Ask him:

1. Do you have herpes and don’t want to have sex? You can get it under control.
2. Are you not seriously interested in me?
3. Are you intimidated by the idea of having a real relationship with another man?

If you are really feeling something for this guy this is not an unreasonable conversation to have.

Rekindle a Former Flame?

Dear David,
I have just broken off with my lover of seven years who wants more sexual freedom. I have been seeing a former lover of some fifteen years ago who has a little son of two. I often babysit his son and I have come to love this little boy a lot and very recently my ex and I are considering being together again. I am not quite sure who I love here. What’s you take on this?
~Second Time

Dear Second Time,
I don’t want to bring any kind of formula thinking to this problem because there’s a child involved. Normally I would say it didn’t work once it probably won’t work twice. But I could be wrong.

However I kind of feel that perhaps you are too young fora relationship that is basically about family. Am I wrong here? I think any lasting real relationship has to be based on a great romance. Otherwise it’s a roommate with a little sex thrown in. I guess overall I would say give it a try but don’t get overly upset if what didn’t work in the past doesn’t work now.

Fine Artist In Search of Advice

(Paul Cadmus | The Bath | 1951)

Dear David,
I’m an up-and-coming fine artist. I paint and draw the nude. There is nothing more un attractive than the lifestyle of an artist who is not also financially successful. The art world seems a bit daunting and hard to understand at first glance. Would you have any advice for me for success in this mileu?
~Little Picasso

Dear Picasso Jr.,
Here’s what I think. The art world has become a huge market catering to the new super-wealthy wanting to show of their wealth and pay millions for half a cow in a tank of formaldehyde. This isn’t going to last like a Da Vinci or Michelangelo work from the Renaissance. It’s interesting, all the very high paid painters of the 19th century are now forgotten and Van Gogh is famous, who only sold one painting in his lifetime and that was to his brother.

I think art is to make you feel something, not to be thought about. Contemporary art is very disposable. You think about it. You talk about it. You forget it. You are in the tradition of artists who want you to feel. The last school of this kind of artist were the Magic Realists, who in the 1930’s and 1940’s included Paul Cadmus, Jared French, George Tooker, Bernard Perlin and some others. Only Bernard Perlin is still alive. George Tooker just died and was never lost to sight. He always had buyers and sold for good prices. You are a part of a reawakening to this kind of art which is going on right now. If you do the nude it has to have some personal view as to why the nude is beautiful and meaningful. Your own personal magic has to be brought to it. Think about this. When you have maybe 15 or 20 paintings you like then I would go online and find galleries outside of New York, like Minnealpolis, Atlanta, Dallas.

I think your timing is perfect. Representational art is on its way back. Now you must find your own thing so it is representational art for the 21st century. Good luck and keep in touch.

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 12

Welcome to today's episode of Come On Out! with David Leddick, where I interview my pal Ewell about his personal coming out story. Enjoy!

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Brazilian Suit Ad

This is the day of the week when we present the Handsomest Man in the World. How's this guy? I am just back from Sao Paulo, Brazil and this is a suit ad from a local magazine. Do you think this is how men are going to start showing up for business meetings? One can only hope.

Dating on Tight Schedule

Dear David,
I have just met someone with whom I really click. However we both have such tight schedules that we can really only meet about twice a week for an hour or so. We are having great sex rendezvous but little else. Can this go anywhere?
~Rex Rendezvous

Dear Double R.,
This is probably a love affair that is going to last for years and years if you stay on this schedule. I am not sure why your shcdeules are so tight and if you each have other meaningful others that are being left out of these bi-weekly flings. At any rate, I think this sounds great. If this becomes ever more important you will find those schedules opening up I am sure. In the meantime, welcome the fact that you are not going to get bored with each other any time soon.

Too Many Excuses...

Dear David,
I am very attracted to my partner and I enjoy his company a lot but the sex is often unfulfilling. After he has an orgasm the sex is pretty much finished. With some coaxing, I get to finish but that isn't very sexy. My sexual appetite is nearly insatiable, especially with this partner, but there is always an excuse why we can't do it. He's afraid to damage his bum, he gets a fever after sex, he doesn't want to become a sex addict, etc. Also, he always wants me to be the one to initiate sex and affection but often when I try I'm pushed away. He claims things will get better and that he as trust issues. Things have been getting better as time goes by but I need help deciding if I should hang in there.
~Trust Worthy

Dear Trust Worthy,
I think your partner has reluctancies about sex, no matter who he has a relationship with. Some people have worries about their health, their bodies, their guilts, who knows? Overall I would say that this is someone who will always be hesitant about sex. They are never going to throw themselves into it wholeheartedly. Unless, of course, they are less crazy about you than you are about them. If you are really feeling very intimate with this guy and want to build on it, go for it. If not and you don't really feel like a teammate, I think I would set both of you free to look for better sexual match-ups.

Cab in Sao Paulo ~ David's Gay Dish ~ Video

Here I am in a cab in crazy Sao Paulo, Brasil!

Black Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend

Here we are on Fashion Day. Because I live in Miami Beach and flee to Uruguay during the brief weeks we call winter here I am never over the cold. So my advice tends to be about looking good more than keeping warm. But I think that’s a good goal, don’t you?

Anyway, here’s a couple of looks for you. I think you can wear a light colored suit in coldish weather. And I think wearing it over a T-shirt and with a scarf makes sense. I am not very pro-scarf, but filling in your neckline and keeping a bit warmer makes sense. This is a very good look. You do not have to take the mattress with you, although it might come in handy.

Also the longish shorts and striped T-shirt with a leather jacket and bag looks good. I am very opposed to leather jackets as I think people automatically assume you are into S&M. But here it works. Maybe because yachting and sadomasochism do NOT go together very much.

For the ladies: Turquoise. I think a big bulky sweater, coordinated color skirt that covers you up fairly well and sensible boots makes for a really excellent winter look. But the color needs to be dramatic. A big coat over it and you’re set. Just sexy enough.

Onto women’s jewelry: David Yurman, the New Tiffany, has a black diamond leopard bracelet very much like the one Cartier does. Gorgeous and expensive. Designed by Fawaz Gruosi and the jeweler is De Grisogno. This is all way out there stuff, but we can dream can’t we?

And everyone must have the new Slap-On watch in every color imaginable. I’m getting them here Miami Beach and showering them upon everyone I know. If you want one let me know.

Here's just one little picture extra from Sao Paulo, Brazil, from whence I have just come. Yes, the men do look like this there. Kiss me, you fool!

Handsomest Man in the World & Dating Advice

Handsomest Man in the World! I found this in a French gay magazine. I can’t believe he’s French. The ad is for Inderwear and they found a hottie for us. I have no idea who he is or where he is but he exists my dears, he exists. Dream on.
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Dear David,
How do you feel about my having a number of sex buddies, sex partners, men I date, whatever? I’m beginning to think that this completely unromantic kind of sex life is going to change me and I will not even be interested in romance eventually. Que pasa?
~Too Casual

Dear Too Casual,
I don’t think you are too casual. I think you are probably quite attractive and a lot of people want to go to bed with you and you are letting it happen. For myself, I don’t like to think of sex as something like tennis. That you just go out there and knock the ball around a couple times a week. I did that when I was in my teens (please, don’t tell my mother) and by the time I was twenty that period was over. You may just be doing a teen thing later. But to get the most out of sex, it shouldn’t be a sport but involved in a specific person. What is that old song? “He may be good f-ing but he’s no f-ing good.” So be it. Don’t worry about who he is. It should be someone that really presses all the buttons emotionally. Then you can reassure yourself that you have really lived.

Marriage. Children. No Sex Life.

Dear D. G. D.,
I am legally married to another man and we have two children. I love them all very much. But I don’t feel like having sex with my partner very often anymore. This bothers me. The whole reason I got into this in the first place was that I was crazy about him. Now what?
~Blaming Myself

Dear Blaming Yourself,
I love your title for me. D. G. D. Like Mother God Damn in the musical “South Pacific”. David God Damn. Anyway, about your sex life. Welcome to the world of heterosexuality. Romance kind of slides out the window once the kids can hear you in the night.

First of all, even though you have a nice domestic life, schedule some time away from the kids. Even if it means hiring a babysitter for a couple of hours and going to McDonald’s by yourselves where you can talk about sex. What haven’t you done yet you’d like to try? I think everyone is loaded with sex to the end of their lives. They just lose track of it in the bourgeois world where everything is about the neighbors, school, income, real estate. Don’t forget who you used to be and what you wanted to do sexually. You can do it. He’s right there in bed with you. How about a vacations without the kids? At least a weekend. I promise you, you must not lose track of your sexuality. I have written this before but the architect Buckminster Fuller said in an interview “As you get older you must not underestimate the importance of pornography.” You could buy some of my books. That could get you going.

(Photo via istockphoto.com)