Marriage. Children. No Sex Life.

Dear D. G. D.,
I am legally married to another man and we have two children. I love them all very much. But I don’t feel like having sex with my partner very often anymore. This bothers me. The whole reason I got into this in the first place was that I was crazy about him. Now what?
~Blaming Myself

Dear Blaming Yourself,
I love your title for me. D. G. D. Like Mother God Damn in the musical “South Pacific”. David God Damn. Anyway, about your sex life. Welcome to the world of heterosexuality. Romance kind of slides out the window once the kids can hear you in the night.

First of all, even though you have a nice domestic life, schedule some time away from the kids. Even if it means hiring a babysitter for a couple of hours and going to McDonald’s by yourselves where you can talk about sex. What haven’t you done yet you’d like to try? I think everyone is loaded with sex to the end of their lives. They just lose track of it in the bourgeois world where everything is about the neighbors, school, income, real estate. Don’t forget who you used to be and what you wanted to do sexually. You can do it. He’s right there in bed with you. How about a vacations without the kids? At least a weekend. I promise you, you must not lose track of your sexuality. I have written this before but the architect Buckminster Fuller said in an interview “As you get older you must not underestimate the importance of pornography.” You could buy some of my books. That could get you going.

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