I am very attracted to my partner and I enjoy his company a lot but the sex is often unfulfilling. After he has an orgasm the sex is pretty much finished. With some coaxing, I get to finish but that isn't very sexy. My sexual appetite is nearly insatiable, especially with this partner, but there is always an excuse why we can't do it. He's afraid to damage his bum, he gets a fever after sex, he doesn't want to become a sex addict, etc. Also, he always wants me to be the one to initiate sex and affection but often when I try I'm pushed away. He claims things will get better and that he as trust issues. Things have been getting better as time goes by but I need help deciding if I should hang in there.
Dear Trust Worthy,
I think your partner has reluctancies about sex, no matter who he has a relationship with. Some people have worries about their health, their bodies, their guilts, who knows? Overall I would say that this is someone who will always be hesitant about sex. They are never going to throw themselves into it wholeheartedly. Unless, of course, they are less crazy about you than you are about them. If you are really feeling very intimate with this guy and want to build on it, go for it. If not and you don't really feel like a teammate, I think I would set both of you free to look for better sexual match-ups.