Plastic Surgery Question

Dear David,

I have a very good-looking female friend who is always impeccable about her appearance. She wouldn’t even take out the garbage with being well-dressed and made up. Like many women these days she has an occasional visit to the plastic surgeon to have fuller lips and a tighter skin here and there. But strangely, after she has had a bit of surgical intervention she will want to go out to dinner and goes out with her face all puffed up and “duck lips” flapping. It’s kind of scary. I find it hard to understand why she is so careful of her appearance and yet has no problem going out in public looking like something out of a horror movie. What do you think?

~Mr. Perplexed

Dear Mr. Perplexed,

Yours is a very unusual question. Being so careful of her appearance surely has to do with some lack of self-confidence. And then flaunting the fact that she has just had plastic surgery?  My guess it’s what I call “stepping in your own knickers.” In principle she’s heading towards marriage, family, etc. She may have a great fear of this for some reason, perhaps sexual. So parading herself around looking ugly may be her way of making sure that what she is supposedly pursuing will not happen. Many people fear failure so they keep themselves from finishing projects and relationships. If you never accomplish it you cannot be said to have failed. That’s my guess. 

(photo via englishrussia.com)

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 35

Welcome to the 35th Episode of "Come On Out! with David Leddick" where I talk to my pal Jeremiah Torres about his personal coming out story.

Over Sixty? You're A Sextennial! You're a New Maverick!

My darlings - here is my lastest write up for the Huffington Post: Over Sixty? You're A Sextennial! You're a New Maverick!

"You are an experienced person. You are not getting older, you are becoming more sophisticated. You are in the position to inspire others, show the way to others, break the mold and head off in a new and free direction. Younger people need you to show the way."

What are your thoughts on the subject?! I am already getting some great comments beneath the  article directly on Huffington Post, wonderful!

Handsomest Man in the World ~ James Franco look alike

Handsomest Man in the World this week is this new model whom looks very much like he could be James Franco's younger brother. No kidding. He has a younger brother who has just entered the acting scene. What do you think? What gives with these big, pouty mouths on men. Muy bien!

I swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but...

Dear David,
This isn't about sex but I wanted your opinion. A friend of mine is involved in a gay sexual harassment suit. In deposition and under oath several witnesses have lied to make him look at fault. One was even clearly caught at it. What do you think about this unfairness?
~Witness for the Persecution

Dear Witness for the Persecution,
It's like this. People lie under oath and we see it all the time in some of these big bank/sex/public scandals. As an onlooker you can do nothing, but there it is. The witness lied and must live with it forever. It may or may not hurt your friend, but it definitely hurts the liar. Our own self-esteem is crucial as we pass through life. Doing things we know are wrong forces us to live with ourselves - knowing we are second-rate, and a failed/bad person. This hopefully prevents us from doing things like this in the first place. Even if know one else knows that you have lied to take someone down falsely, you do. And that is an awful way to live to the end. You can never have a good relationship with someone. Love will always be impaired. Your friend has been honest. He will survive better than those trying to take him down based on lies.

Secret Service scandal in Colombia

Dear David, 
I heard early reports that the Secret Service scandal in Cartagena involved two guys who slept with one girl and only wanted to pay one fee. Could this be true?
~Mr.Curious 


Dear Mr. Curious, 
Who would be surprised? Two Secret Service hunks, back and front with one woman. Almost like bamboola with each other. Those macho guys want to get it on with each other. There’s a scenario for a porn film there somewhere. Where does the President get these guys?

How to Be Gay in the SAN FRANCISCO BOOK REVIEW

How to be Gay book reviewed in the prestigious SAN FRANCISCO BOOK REVIEW: Please click here to read the review. What do you guys think?! I'm very happy with the review! “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. It’s like being Swedish. A little different but in no important way.”

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 34

Welcome to the 34th Episode of "Come On Out! with David Leddick" where I talk to my pal Johnny Alvarez about his personal coming out story.

My Book How to be Gay in the 21st Century...

...was mentioned in the Spring Books article from Savannah Morning News! Please click here for the link my darlings, and scroll down to the section "FOR THE LGBT READER…" How exciting!

Fashion Day at Coltorti on Lincoln Road ~ Video

Hello my darlings, I thought I would head over to the store Coltorti on Lincoln Road and pick out the fashion items that you MUST have in your life ladies!

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Sean O'Pry

Our Handsomest Man in the World this week is model Sean O'Pry. I have seen him around for a number of years and he gets sexier all the time. I remember reading somewhere that he is American and from Georgia. He has that wrinkly forehead and that hot mouth and a broody presence. For this week, he's got the prize! Whew!

(Top to bottom: Victor & Rolf Ad, Vogue Cover, & Hugo Boss)
______________________________

Dear David,
I have recently read that there is no such thing as Sex Addiction. That the idea that one is addicted is a religious right concept to dissuade people from having sex. Have you heard this? What do you think?
~Inquirer

Dear Inquirer,
I talked about this a little bit earlier this week discussing women who feel their partners are not sexy enough. In the movie "Shame" they deal with sex addiction and I think it is more complicated than just having sex all the time. First, if you are Latin American, men ususally want to have sex daily or even twice a day. That is not considered and addiction or even anything but normal. That might be considered addiction in the US, and that is nonsense. I love being with a guy who has to have sex once a day.

Secondly, more likely is the person who has sex with just about anybody. That is not an addiction, that is low self esteem. Particularly in the gay world, handsome men who have not accomplished much career-wise often have to have sex constantly to
reassure themselves that they still have some control over their world. And when they get older and lose that control they can be come quite emotionally upset. Taht is something else. That is not addiction.

To answer your question, if you have to have sex a lot that just may be your libido. Congratulations and hopefully you are with someone who is equally enthusiastic. Or it can be a substitute for achievement in other areas. But for all of us, there is always the question: Are you running your life or is your life running you?

If anyone reading needs advice about love, sex, relationships, life, etc. (gay or straight), you just might find your question and answer posted here on Davids Gay Dish. Contact me today my darlings! davidsgaydish@gmail.com

Not Really Passionate In Bed

Dear David,
Recently a number of my women friends have been complaining to me that their boyfriends, husbands, lovers, you name it are not really passionate in bed. They just want to cuddle and noodle around. I don't know what to tell them. Do you?
~A Quandry Question

Dear Quantry-Solver,
I think this is primarily a North American problem. I have long felt that the men in the US are repressed and just want to get sex over. This comes out of our English background, the Puritans and all that. Added to this is that most men are now spending a lot of time watching porn on the internet. My first question to these blokes would be, "Are you maturbating a lot?" My second would be, "How about turning off the internet and turning me on?"

Also, you should ask these women how feminine are they behaving? Are they wearing perfume? Sexy perfume, not sporty. Are they wearing feminine underwear, not sports bras? Are they wearing skirts and heels or are they in jeans and sneakers all the time? How's their hair? It is long, flowing and sensuous? We have to face it, women are prettier than men. Even though I am gay I have to admit it. And men get aroused sexually (heterosexual men) by the difference between them and their partner. IF you want that clam hammered, you have to do your part! And setting him up with a couple of glasses of wine and a good meal first is not a terrible idea. Come on! Get sexy! No one is more for equal rights for women than me, but men are actually more delicate than women emotionally. You have to seduce them every time. Unless they're Latin American, then watch out!

If anyone reading needs advice about love, sex, relationships, life, etc. (gay or straight), you just might find your question and answer posted here on Davids Gay Dish. Contact me today my darlings! davidsgaydish@gmail.com

Not So Tit-illated

Dear David,
I recently had a sexual interlude with a man who had to have his nipples manipulated so constantly that it completely distracted me from having sex. I like him and can imagine seeing more of him but this nipple thing is new to me. What's your advice?
~Not So Tit-illated

Dear Not So,
People's bodies differ a lot. Some men are very turned on by nipple play, some are not. And there is all the in between. Your friend seems to be at the outer end of the spectrum. Here's my advice. I don't know exactly what you are doing sexually, but if you are behind him, it seems to me quite easy to just clamp on to those pectorals and go about your business. If not, how about a jolt of body lotion or vaseline so a little motion goes a long way? Or, if it's definitely front to front, slather on a lot of lotion and rub your chest on his. A lot. That should work. And he will never want to let you out of his life.

(Photo via outfrontcolorado.com)

If anyone reading needs advice about love, sex, relationships, life, etc. (gay or straight), you just might find your question and answer posted here on Davids Gay Dish. Contact me today my darlings! davidsgaydish@gmail.com

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 33

Welcome to the 33rd Episode of "Come on Out! with David Leddick" where I talk about the underlying theme behind all of my books, which is that you really have to live.

This is your time - have a new career, have a new love life, have goals. Don't waste your time. It's your life, live it!

I have 3 big questions for you

Instead of fashion direction for you this Thursday, I have 3 big questions for you:

1. What gives with Mad Men and the surrounding fog of the 1950s and 60s fashion directions and now Magic City, a show about Miami Beach back then? It's pretty obvious that the leading man of "Magic City", Jeffrey Dean Morgan has been chosen because he looks like Don Draper. Why are we longing to go back to another time period? I lived through all of that and the 1960s were when we abandoned looking and acting like adults and the whole world became teenagers. Now we want to be adults and we don't know how? Is that it?

2. What gives with all of these horrifying movies about teenagers caught up in violent worlds? I know that "Hunger Games" are a series of books from which the new movie has been adapted. And it is the biggest box office hit ever? Has our entire country become permanent teenagers? We know nothing about the world. Don't know where Iraq is. Couldn't find Afganistan on the map. Yet are deeply involved with horrifying fantasies of the future. What gives?

3. My third question, which I am going to follow up on is: Why do all the current male and female movie and TV stars look alike? The men all have the same faces, bodies, hair color. The women all look extremely similar. I am going to prepare a list for next week. There is something weird going on. They rise, make a movie or two, then dissapear to be replaced by someone like Channing Tatum, who looks like everyone else. Gary Cooper was never mistaken for Cary Grant. What's happening here?

All of this just to call your attention to the 21st century. I love this century but I am trying to project where it is going. Are these things steps towards growing up? Please let me know your thoughts!

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Josh Henderson

I think this week's Handsomest Man in the World has to be Josh Henderson, who is about to do the remake of "Dallas." Check out both of these photos. The fact that he looks just as good with his clothes on than off sold me!

Max Endowed

Dear David,
I have a very large "winkie" and when people see it they are frightened of it and I don't get laid. Any ideas?
~Max Endowed

Dear Max,
What a problem you have! There is a big market for the maximum endowed, whether you know it or not. And I think the classic phrase is, "I'm just going to put the head in." Sort of the equivalent of "The check is in the mail." I think you'll find it works.

My best asset...

Dear David,
I have a very nice a$$. It's probably my best feature. But the result is that everyone wants to f- me and I never get to f- anybody. What should I do?
~Just A$$-king

Dear Just A$$-king,
Something tells me that you probably wear really tight jeans and make sure everyone knows about your best asset, if you will pardon my expression. If that's what you're advertising, don't be surprised you get buyers. How about buying some loose jeans and trying to get someone fascinated with your personality? Give it a go.

(Photograph by A Y.Owen in 1957)

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 32

Welcome to the 32nd Episode of "Come on Out! with David Leddick" where I talk about my "Mad Men" days in advertising in New York City where I was the World Wide Creative Director for Grey Advertising - our main client was Revlon. Did you know Revlon spent 34 million a year in advertising back then?! They really revolutionized the advertising world!

Beards, Stripes & Havianas. Oh my!

Here we are, more fashion to consider. My question today is about the ever more ubiquitous beard. Do men really look better with a small beard? I don’t find it to be the case. To me they look older and less touchable. My mother used to say, “ A kiss without a mustache is like a meal without salt.” Though god knows how she would have known that. I think she was kidding.

Anyway, I don’t want to snuggle up to that scratchy beard, do you?

Here’s a very good young look that is actually okay for almost everybody. The usual staples: a t-shirt, jeans, cardigan sweater, bucks for shoes. But good touches. Big striped T-shirt, sort of big cardigan, tans instead of jeans ( so much better once you’re over thirty) and those red soles. We had those when I was in college but they look redder now. Anyway, excellent look with or without the sunglasses.

Havianas. I don’t really like these kinds of sandals but I like this guy and that silly hat. He’s making it work, even with that new shaved side-of-the-head haircut, which is definitely not for everyone. You are supposed to look better right?

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Michael Fassbender

Handsome, handsome, handsome! Micheal Fassbender. Did you see "Shame"? The Academy Awards zipped right over it as though it didn't exist and I think it was the best movie of the year, and the most 21st century. And who else could have played the lead but the "mama mia" Mr. Fassbender? Swinging that big thing around. Yeow! Definitely Handsomest Man in the World this week and in reality a whole lot longer.

Also, here are the new Calvin Klein ads that I showed you last week, but thought you might like to see them again. The bulge is here and it is not going away. Kind of surprising from the recent, simple lines, not much going on Mr. Klein. Of course there is plenty going on in his private life but nobody wants to talk about that. I live in Miami Beach. I know everything...
_________________________

Dear David,
You are always talking about living your life fully in your later years. But some of us have health issues and can't. aren't you being unfair by ignoring that?
~Mr. Not-So-Zippy

Dear Mr. Not-So-Zippy,
I know, I know. I'm trying to whip people up to not succumb to their ailments and age. I see some older people and think, "Are they unhappy because they're sick or are they sick because they're unhappy?" I actually see this more in heterosexual relationships but I think if you are stuck in a life that offers you little fun or fantasy or feelings, maybe you're better out of there. I know it's frightening to consider, but I think fate and destiny reward courage. And sexually, I find most people function fine if they are with someone who excites them.

Feeling Like A Fool After April Fool's Day

Dear David,
Yesterday was April Fool's Day. My partner fooled me if I'm correct. He supposedly went into work but when I called, a coworker said he was not there. I'm a grown-up and I don't think he has any plans to leave me. We've been together a longish time. But what would you do?
~Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,
Did you ever hear of the revenge f#*k? That's what I did. It happened to me a couple of times and instead of getting all worked up which would just make me look silly, I just made a rendezvous with someone I liked. And I went and did it. I never mentioned it and never discussed the mysterious day at the office. It made me feel better and we have been fine ever since. I think he knows I know something but chooses to ignore it. He feels a little guilty and that's great by me. Maybe I'm a little jaded but I don't think you should throw away your relationship just because someone slips off the track. Can you slip off the track yourself? Think about it. After all, you are sophisticated grownups, not some dopey couple in Wichita.