Can a gay man play heterosexual roles in Hollywood?

Dear David,
Do you think we have come far enough that an out gay man can play heterosexual roles in Hollywood and be accepted by the American pubic?
~I.M. Curious

Dear Mr. Curious,
My trainer was yearning over Matthew McConaughey the other day and was amazed that Mr. McConaughey may no be as hetero as widely assumed.

(Photo of Matthew McConaughey via thebosh.com)

I pointed out that he attended the Academy Awards for the first time with his mother. I think there is a lot of inauthentic marriages in Hollywood because the public is NOT ready to see a gay man pretend to be straight. I don't think I am, really. Because in movies contrary to the stage we "live" them and think they are real. That is one of the stage effects of film.

More important, there is no general awareness that people can be attracted to their own sex at some times in their lives and not at other times. Being gay for some men can be kind of off-again, on-again situation. So our Hollywood romantic stars MUST be heterosexual for the public to want to see them.

This goes way back. Robert Taylor was married to Barbara Stanwyck, a kind of unlikely couple:

Tyrone Power was married to Annabella, a French star. Another unlikely couple:

I think when Hollywood male star marries a script girl or a lady bartender, or has a series of vague girlfriends from Las Vegas, there is a lot to think about there. For myself, I couldn't care less. But I only think that it is sad to give up having a really great and meaningful relationship with somebody because your career doesn't allow it. That's sad. A little bit like going into a convent.
~David

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You're invited to a book party for my new novel "Love in the Loire" at the Rizzoli bookstore in New York at 31 W. 57th St. between 5th and 6th Avenues. Book Party starts at 5:30 pm, Thursday June 2, 2011. If you are in or about New York, please come.

Bothered by a Guy Who is not Hot

Dear David,
What do you say when someone wants to have sex with you and is very insistent? In a bar or somewhere. No one you really know.
~Bothered by a Guy Who is not Hot

Dear Guy,
I always say "You don't want to sleep with me. I'm terrible. I hardly move. Ask anyone."

When you're seated beside them at a table and they reach into your crotch you turn and say, "Pardon me, am I in your way?"

I have never known these to fail.
~David

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You're invited to a book party for my new novel "Love in the Loire" at the Rizzoli bookstore in New York at 31 W. 57th St. between 5th and 6th Avenues. Book Party starts at 5:30 pm, Thursday June 2, 2011. If you are in or about New York, please come.

Gay Role Models for Older Gay Men ~ How to Be Gay in the 21st Century ~ Video

My thoughts on gay role models for older men. Enjoy your holiday weekend!

Role Models for Older Gay Men?

(Salvador Dalí & Coco Chanel image via firelily tumblr blog)

Dear David,
I am in my sixties and seventy is looming ahead. I am in good health and good form but I don't see any older gay role models I want to be like. What are your ideas?
~Mr. Mature

Dear Mr. Mature,
I faced the same problem and my role models wear actually women. As I reviewed people's lives as they grew older I admired Coco Chanel and Elsie de Wolfe, Lady Mendl. Chanel made her comeback at seventy after the war and Elsie Mendl fled Paris and went to Hollywood during World War II and was very successful interior decorator there and in her eighties. She got a facelift, put her hair up like Betty Grable and went to work. I think the inspiration here was they worked. You may have to change careers but plan to work. Writing a book, taking nude photographs, designing t-shirts. There's lots of stuff to do the world is waiting for. You may be one of the role models younger gay guys will copy.

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Does anybody know where this is?


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More Gossip:
Even more news on Arnold Schwarzenegger. Early in his bodybuilding career he was supported by a very gay guy in Spain. I have photographs of them in their apartment...Next Week!

Handsomest Man in the World & Men's Fashion Advice

This is Wednesday and Handsomest Man in the World day. Today's choice is Enrique Almanza, who works with one of my cousins here in Miami. The photograph is from a trip out on my cousin's yacht in the bay of Miami. Enrique is very smart and capable and I think you can put him in the category of "HOT", don't you?


YOU ARE INVITED TO A PARTY FOR MY NEW BOOK “LOVE IN THE LOIRE"
Don't forget about my book party tonight for my latest book "Love in the Loire." (Details on right side of blog). I will read something witty and wonderful from it. I’d like to see you. Please come. Wed. May 25th at 7:00 PM / Books and Books / 927 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, FL 33139


Also, today I have this request:

Dear David,
I like your fashion directions very much for men but I am never going to be that tall and thin. Never was and am not going to get better. What are your fashion directions for us with the lower, broader physiques. I want to look younger and with it but I don't want to look freaky. Help!
~Fashion for the Average Guy

Dear Fashion for the A.G.,

Does this help?

1. The shorter, tighter jacket. This doesn't need to squeeze you in, but the butt should just meet the button hole in the front. No looseness. Somehow is makes you look tall and thinner no matter your build:

2. Try turning the collar up. It makes you look a little more dashing and Cary Grant like:

3. White about the face. The white shirt without a tie and dark jacket will make you look with it. For evening or parties stick a hankerchief in your breast pocket. That look is back and makes you look a little devil-may-care:

4. Recently I am seeing the v-necked t-shirt under jackets and that looks good. Somehow extra skin makes your face go up. But plain, please. A white or dark T-shirt. No colors. Gray is the new black:

5. I love this new Zegna jacket. All sort of unfinished. Just for those dress-up moments but you don't have to be thin or tall for this. It really looks new:

6. The scarf. You can get away with this if it is under control like this:

7. Your hair. Comb it straight back and up. If you're young it can go pretty wild. More mature, keep it under control but it can go up:

Don't be afraid of blonding your hair in a way that looks like you really meant to do it. The streakier and dark roots the better. It can make you look younger and stand out:

8. Lastly, I love this look and I do it.Take a regular tie and tie it like a bow tie when you are really dressing up. It is kind of correct and it really isn't faggy. Just sort of front edge:

Too Much Sexy Time?

Dear Davids Gay Dish,
I have a sexual problem. My partner, whom I love very much, is extremely sexy and when we have sex he usually wants to do it two or three times. I find that after once I am really out of the mood, which I think is common. Yet I don't want to disappoint him. What do you suggest I do?
~Super Saturated in Sex

Dear S.S.S.,
Now listen, this is what I do. The first time around do something he likes to do but doesn't result in you having an orgasm, just him. I think you know what I'm talking about. Then when he recovers and is gung-ho for a second round you will be in the mood and can hurl yourself into it with abandon. This is a problem but one you are lucky to have. As for the occasional third round, you can either try laughing at him or be a good samaritan.

(Photo via blog Onefinegay)

Advice on Stress in Advertising

Dear David,
I like my job very much. I work in advertising and the people I work with are fun and interesting but management can be very arrogant and difficult and changes direction all the time. And the clients are always disorganized and don't know what they want. Plus always treat us like underlings. You worked in advertising. How did you handle it?
~Distressed Daily

Dear Distressed Daily (I love your name),
I worked for many years as Worldwide Creative Director for Revlon at Grey Advertising in New York. Every year Advertising magazine published a list of the ten worst clients in the business. Revlon was always number one.

I used to tell my staff, pretend you are a nurse in a mental institution and the patients think they are in advertising. Your job is to keep them calm and non-violent. Agree with them, smile, speak slowly and calmly, never get angry. These meetings are their therapy. And remember, you are a nurse, not a doctor. These people are never going to get well. It always worked fine.

We were paid very well to do these jobs and when leaving a meeting I would say to my senior writer, "What were you thinking about?" and she would say, "My jewelry, and you?" And I would reply, "My real estate." And we would sweep away.
~David

(Cast of Mad Men image via celebrations.com)

Women's Fashion Advice ~ How to be Gay in the 21st Century ~ Video

My advice on women's fashion, hair and beauty for this year. Enjoy!

My boyfriend has no taste in clothing!

Dear D.G. Dish,
You have been talking about men's fashion a good bit so I thought I'd tell you my problem. Although it isn't a very serious one. I like to dress in style and I think I look good most of the time but not overdone. My boyfriend has no taste in clothing at all. He'd wear blue jeans to a wedding. I keep suggesting that he wear this or that and it's like whistling into the wind. He just doesn't hear me and just doesn't care. It doesn't particularly bother me except that he's a good-looking guy with a good body and I want him to look great. Maybe I just want to show him off at his best. Maybe I should just forget it. What do you think?
~Fashion Perplexed

Dear Mr. Perplexed,
First, you have a good-looking boyfriend with a good body. Fantastic. And you are probably most interested when all his clothes are off anyway. But here's what I think. It has worked for me in the past. You want him to wear a navy blue blazer, for example. Go to Armani. Get him a really expensive blazer. Take him along so you are sure it will fit. He will look in the mirror and I promise he will see the difference. And when he hears how much you are paying for it he will know you love him a lot and also he will have to wear it. It's expensive. You can follow this with a great pair of shoes. A really expensive pair of jeans. A great white shirt. And he will look spiffy in these simple clothes. You can follow up with a suit if you have a wedding or great party to go to. When it costs a lot, they will wear it. Try it. You'll see.

Here's a fashion suggestion for next fall. I haven't liked the double-breasted cardigan but under a jacket this looks good. Even that unnecessary scarf is good here:

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You are invited to a party for my new book “Love in the Loire." I will read something witty and wonderful from it. I’d like to see you. Please come.

Wednesday, May 25th at 7:00 PM
Books and Books, Miami Beach
927 Lincoln Road
Miami Beach, FL 33139

You can also purchase it on my website: DavidLeddick.net or Amazon.com


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Also, please don't forget if you need a portrait done to go to my talented nephew Ethan Winslow. You can view a few of his wonderful portraits here.

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Eduardo Goicolea

It's Handsomest Man in the World time. This week my selection is my trainer Eddy Goicolea. He posed for the cover of my book "The Millionare of Love" and has a book of his own called "Fit + Together" on how to stay fit using your lovers body as gym equipment. Hello! At any rate, here is Eduardo Goicolea. If you are in or around Miami and Miami Beach you should try to have him train you. Email me at davidsgaydish@gmail.com if you need a personal trainer.

I tell him every time I see him that I owe my body to him completely. And he tells everyone that I have the solidest butt at the gym. To which I say, "You must keep your butt firm and solid because you never know when you may need it."

Also, please don't forget if you need a portrait done to go to my talented nephew Ethan Winslow. You can view a few of his wonderful portraits here.

Thoughts on Montevideo, Uruguay

(Salvo Palace, Independence Plaza, Montevideo, Uruguay. Walter Rawlings—Robert Harding World Imagery/Getty Images)

I have just returned from Montevideo where I have a home and where I had gone to help a friend buy an apartment or a house. He got to Montevideo ahead of me and had already seen a number of apartments when I arrived.

Perhaps I should explain that Montevideo is the capital of Uruguay, a little pie shaped country crushed between Brazil and Argentina with a great Atlantic coastline. Very underpopulated. Three million people and a million and a half in Montevideo, a beautiful old city with modern sections stretched along the River Platte. The Platte is 40 miles wide at this point so it is like being on the ocean, and the city stretches along an esplanade with many beaches.

My friend saw some tiny one bedroom apartments in modern buildings, some with water views, and then saw a house with me that another friend was just finishing remodeling. The tiny apartments and the very large old house were both about $140,000. My friend immediately changed his mind and wanted a house. And got one very shortly with the help of my excellent real estate agent. A beautiful old house just remodeled into a gay guest house. Five bedrooms, each with a different wall mural, everything redone. And he got it for $110,000.

Brazilian money is pouring down into Uruguay at this point and I guess this blog is to encourage you to come down and buy a great house. Get a group of friends and come down. You'll love it. It's like the 1950's.

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Also, since I seem to be in a promoting frame of mind today, here are some examples above of portraits painted by my very talented nephew Ethan Winslow. Have a child's portrait done now before they get older. Or your lover's. Or your own. Here is mine below with my dog Sophie. I do look like this. Honest.

If you would like a portrait done, please email me at davidsgaydish@gmail.com and I will put you in touch with Ethan.

Faithful but Broke

Dear David,
I am in a relationship that I feel is permanent and which I believe is very right for me and very right for him. Except for one thing. My lover/boyfriend/partner is not good at anticipating problems. And when they occur, I wind up having to bail him out financially.

For instance, I knew he was short on money for a large mortgage payment coming up. We were about to take a vacation and he said, "Oh, I can borrow the money from my friend Ken or my Dad when we come back if I don't have it." We returned. Ken didn't have the money. Or did Dad. So I had to pay it. Although I had warned him about it well in advance. It makes me angry and I don't want to be angry with him. And to gripe a little more, he doesn't seem to be too concerned that I have had to cough up the money once again for something he hasn't worried about. What is your suggestion?
~The Faithful Lover

Dear Faithful but Broke,
To tell you the truth, there isn't much you can do. If you don't pay for him the situation will only get worse, higher payments come due, more money is needed. One of my favorite quotes is "Most problems go away when you throw money at them," which is true. But less fun when it's your money but not your problem. Finally everything you have is yours together so perhaps you can look at it as you paying a debt of yours but not of your making. One thing I would strongly advise. Both of you should make wills where it is clearly spelled out that your worldly goods go to the other person. I am amazed at the long-term gay couples who do not have wills. Get it done if you haven't. It will make you less angry.

(Photo above by David Vance from my latest Book, How to be Gay in the 21st Century)

My thoughts on Miami ~ How to be Gay in the 21st Century ~ Video

Hello everyone, here are my thoughts on the future of Miami. Enjoy!

Life IS So Exciting

Dear David’s Gay Dish,
I want to be everywhere at the same time, life is so exciting. How should I plan? What should I do?
~Full of Fun

Dear Full of Fun,
And long as you are not excited because of the mood enhancers you are taking, here’s a plan:

1. Think of another country you’d like to live in. Plan on how to do it. Visit it first.

2. Learn another language. Spanish is the new must. The most widely spoken language in the world.

3. Read fashion magazines. They tell you a lot more about how to look and where to go. I think GQ and Details magazines like that are hopeless. European men’s fashion magazines are excellent.
~David


(image via dreamstime.com)

Who is This Weeks Handsomest Man in the World?

What do you think of this weeks handsomest man in the world? Do you know who he is? I found him in a magazine and he is quite handsome if you ask me.

More Fashion Advice for the 21st Century

Dear Davids Gay Dish,
Your blog is making me nervous about how I dress. I am not sure what is age appropriate anymore. Help me.
~Lost in Fashion

Dear Lost in Fashion,
Your letter came in the nick of time as I was just getting ready for this week’s fashion direction.

Here’s a very simple picture of a black suit and white shirt. Notice that it is a snug fit. The jacket is short and the jacket just buttons:

Here’s another more casual look. Tight jacket. Tan pants. You can carry a large bag. We all have a lot of stuff:

I think this leather-edged jacket looks very new:

If your body is good enough a tight long-sleeved T-shirt is good. Note the pompadour hair, you can probably get away with this:

Does your body looks like this? You must try:

~David

Frisky But Risky

Dear David,
I have a very successful career in New York. I am in my mid-forties. And I have decided that I am going to take a three month break and pay some attention to myself. However I risk damaging my public relations career, perhaps irrevocably. What do you think?
~Frisky but Risky

Dear Frisky but Risky,
Bravo. We all have our destinies. And this urge to stop and reconsider who you are and what you are doing with your life is being taken at exactly the right time. The world is changing so rapidly we must not base our futures on what is possible in the world today. In ten years you will be very different and so will the world so the time is ripe to rethink things.

I think you should think about where you would really like to live and don’t just limit yourself to the United States. Think about your private life. Whom do you want to love? And again, don’t limit yourself or be afraid of criticism. Conformity exists in the gay world too, and you can ignore this.

And work on your body and health. You are probably not halfway through your life. Keep your body strong and looking good. You will need it later. At the end of your three months be brave. And if you feel you want to do something different, go for it. I have had six careers and at no point did I ever like my life more than I do right now.
~David

(typographic world map by vladstudio)

Aging Parents ~ How to Be Gay in the 21st Century ~ Video

Advice for a blog reader who wanted to know how to handle their siblings and the care of their aging father.

The Drag Queen's Pal

Dear David’s Gay Dish,
I am a straight man who has been following your blog which I find very informational. Here’s my problem. All my best friends are cross-dressers, transgender, homosexual. What should I do about this? What is my mother’s fault? Is it really a problem?
~The Drag Queen’s Pal

Dear D.G.P.,
Actually you sound quite adult and sophisticated. If you like hanging out with men in dresses, more power to you. What does come to mind is that perhaps you might like to know real women better but are hesitant to. I am assuming that your are not having sex with any of your girlish pals. So think about that a bit. Who are you sleeping with? Maybe, a no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is modern woman would suit you fine. This is the 21st century where men and women must take more equal roles. You are on the leading edge.
~David

(Photo of Amanda Lepore & Cazwell via patriciafield.blogspot.com)

Split Personality

Dear David,
I live in a small town in the Midwest. I have a good job which I like, friends, family, a life I like. Except there I pretend I am heterosexual. I come to Miami Beach several times a year where I have great friends I have contacted through emails and there I am homosexual. I am in my latter thirties and do not see clearly where this is going to lead. Anywhere?
~Split Personality

Dear Mr. Split Personality,
An obvious reply is that as long as it doesn’t bother you, just keep bobbing back and forth between your two lives. Except I think it is more complicated than that. I think you probably don’t want to grow up to the point of having a real life with a real lover and so you continue a life in the Midwest that is like a teenager’s. Friends and family and security. And Miami is you venturing forth into sexual fulfillment. And you are falling slightly behind schedule if you are approaching forty.

I again repeat what I have said so often. When you have a secret life the only one that it is a secret to is you. Probably most of the folks back home you know are homosexual, they don’t want to embarrass themselves by discussing it. And what’s the point?

I do feel that we must push forward in growing up, as down the road no one is going to your sleepable and all those friends and family will age and disappear. You need to keep renewing your life. That I believe and can advise you to do. At some point you will have to be brave enough to get a job in Miami and work on your new life.
~David

(Photo via enriquesantos.com)

Handsomest Man in the World

Here's this week's entry for Handsomest Man in the World. He's the Spanish model Jon Kortajarena who has done many Tom Ford ads and was given a role in his movie "A Single Man." He currently is doing ads for David Yurman, the jeweler. More on David Yurman later, the Tiffany of the 21st Century.

Let me know what you think. Here are more photos.

I am having some feedback that you want more mature men. You have only had David Gandy so far whom I consider quite mature, I will take your feedback into consideration and feature a range of men.

Can You Really Trust a Man?

Dear David,
Can you really trust a man?
~Peter

Dear Peter,
I have been mulling this question myself in a personal relationship and my conclusion is that you just have to. One of you has to go first.

I will say that I have dealt with any number of people in non-romantic situations where I have been very honest and upfront with them, despite their reputations for undependability and treachery. And I have always found that they treated me as I treated them. They were never dishonest with me.

I think the same thing applies in personal romantic interchanges. You must trust him. That is the only way he can ever trust you. And remember what I have been saying (to the point that it becomes boring) whatever happens, you are the one who lived, you are the one who felt something, you are the one who cared about someone else. If he only winds up feeling guilty, that's his problem.

(Heart in Hands photo via Art Vision's flickr photos)