Tuesday, September 13, 2011
A Relationship With No Sex?
Dear Mr. David,
I have friends, a couple in their late thirties, early forties. The one I know best told me they don't have sex. They have a mountain of relationship problems and the fact they don't even have sex I find kind of sad. I thought that was why they were together. My friend says that the relationship is much more important that the sex part and he can get along without it. What should I think of this?
~Bothered & Bewildered
Dear B. & B.,
Mr. David, that's nice. Well Mr. David cannot imagine staying in a relationship with no sex. I mean, is that a relationship? Or is that roommates? And I suspect that these "friends" you talk about are actually you and your meaningful other.
My own position is that your physical and mental health really benefits enormously from lovemaking and without it you (or your friend) will become increasingly stressed, anxious and embedded in a really bad relationship. That's what I think. This may be what many marriages are, but that doesn't mean it's good. My question is, what is keeping you in this relationship? Do you have a deep, hungering need to suffer? Are you that afraid of being alone? Think about it.