Monday, September 19, 2011
A Stray Dog Will Eventually...
Dear David's Gay Dish,
I need your help. I'm a gay man in his forties. I am in good shape, I would say not unattractive, not stupid, earn a good living. Through my work I recently met a man who works in the building. He is in his early twenties, is extremely handsome, has tattoos on great big arms, comes from a very distressed family background. He is one of those men who does not consider himself gay but has certain amounts of sex with other men. He is having a certain amount of sex with me. I am passionately involved with him. I don't think he can be passionately involved with anyone. Surely I am not wasting my time and yet my emotions are deeply stirred. I feel I must just drop him from my life. One of my female friends told me, "A stray dog will eventually bite you in the ass no matter how cute they are."
I would very much appreciate your advice.
~On Dangerous Ground
You can't drop someone who means this much to you. As I have so often said and written, you are the one who is living. You are the one who is feeling something and growing and experiencing. If he isn't, that's too bad. If you were just hankering for him and he was the impossible dream, I would say forget it. Many gay men have these "crushes" and I think that is a waste of time. But you do have some sexual contact. Something intimate is occurring. I think that if he is going to grow up you can be very instrumental in this. And sexually men move on from one thing to another as a relationship endures. Hang in there. You can only feel the heights of emotion if you are will to risk the depths. And don't stray dogs deserve a chance, too? You're not trying to start a family. You are having a romance.