Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 51

Welcome to the 51st Episode of "Come On Out! with David Leddick"! Can you believe it? I just did my 50 episode last week. Please click here to see it. Time flies when you're having fun...

Today I am answering a readers love question! 

Enjoy your holiday weekend my darlings.

Wanting more...

Dear David,
I am living in Miami Beach. I am seriously interested in a relationship and not just dating around. Miami Beach is great and the men are great, but I am finding it to be pretty much of a playground. Everyone wants to have fun, no one wants to get serious. I am thinking of moving to New York where I get the impression men are more serious. What is your advice?
~Wanting More

Dear Wanting More,
I am not so sure that New York is the solution. I lived there a long time and I always got the impression that no one wanted to commit there because someone better was just around the corner - sort of similar to here in Miami. I think love can flourish anywhere. The important thing is not to be afraid of being the one to go first. Once you are in love with someone you can get determined to pull them out of the herd and into your arms. Are you sure you really want to commit? If you are and you find the guy you want, just hang on and don't let him go! I have fallen in love with someone because they were in love with me. It can happen.

In-Law Unlucky...

Dear David,
My lover is very attached to his mother. He calls her everyday while he is driving to work and they speak at length about her problems, her unhappiness, her conflicts with her family, her neighbors, her so-called friends, her husband. She is a holy terror. She makes him very unhappy but he still feels he must speak to her every day. She and I have never come into conflict and I have no plan to do so. Is there anything that can be done?
~In-Law Unlucky

Dear In-Law Unlucky,
 That poor woman. You don't have  to wish her bad luck. She already has the bad luck to be herself. Were it me, I think I'd just put her over in the corner of my life and seal her in with wax and forget about her as much as possible. When there is no solution it is not a problem. It is just a thing. And remember, he loves you more than he does her. He isn't sleeping with her...

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ 50th Episode!

Welcome to the 50th Episode of "Come On Out! with David Leddick"! Can you believe it? 50 episodes! Time flies when you're having fun my darlings...and when you have lots of projects - books, musicals, you name it. I have interviewed so many amazing people about their personal coming out stories. Please look back through all the shows/interviews, you won't be disappointed!

Fashion - three new directions...

For fashion trends this week I want to point out three new directions I find interesting:

1. Hair. Big messed up bangs to one side effect. I have a feeling this is going to sweep the country. Particularly for those whose hairline may be receding a little. A great look. Young but again doesn't have to be. Maybe President Kennedy revisited for the 21st century. 

2. Asian models. Suddenly, many many asian male models in advertising. Suggests to me that this must be a big new market spending lots of money.

3. Older male models. Male models who have been out of the picture for some ten years as well as older theater guys are being used a lot. Also suggest the manufacturers are realizing that the baby boom market is firmly in place. The biggest bulge in the population just hit 65. And that's just the beginning!

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Simon Nessman

Handsomest Man in the World: how about the tall, handsome model Simon Nessman, whom I have chosen before. He looks a bit like James Franco, no?

_____________________

Dear David,

I am seeing someone who is sexy, fun, lovable and everything you could want in a boyfriend but he doesn't like to kiss. I love kissing. I don't know what to do.

~Unkissed

Dear Unkissed,

Try kissing him other places than his mouth. Men never resist that.

Gorgeous new art books & something I never noticed

I want to call your attention to two great new books by friends of mine. One is by Wes Hempel called "Paintings: Injury and Desire." Beautiful painting of beautiful men in their late teens and early twenties. Portraits really, mostly nude and in incredible romantic surroundings. Contact Wes at www.weshempel.com.

The other artist is Jack Balas, who has a wonderful new book out called "Tattoo Detour: Paintings and Drawings from Honolulu." This is unique kind of male nude book: captured in the moment drawings and paintings of young men in Honolulu. What I love is many of them having talking balloons (as in comic strips) and Jack is a funny, great writer as well. You're going to love this really front-edge new book. contact Jack at: www.jackbalas.com.

Wes and Jack are a couple whom I have known for quite a long time. You need to know about them!

_____________________

Dear David,

So many gay men seems to have suffered a lot in their growing up with feelings of guilt and rejection. I've heard you interviewed and you didn't seem to have this experience. Please explain.

~Muy Interested

Dear Muy Interested,

I don't want to sound like a jerk, but when I told one of my nephews I didn't think I had ever experienced homophobia he said "You just didn't notice." I think in the US we are very concerned about the opinions of others. This is not true everywhere. In France if someone in a village disagreed with everyone else there, that still wouldn't change their mind. For them, everyone else is wrong amd they can go jump in the lake. I'm like that. I always knew I liked men. And lots of men seemed to like me. And I don't really care what others think of me. I am only concerned about what I think of them. Listen, we are only here for some 70 odd years. We have to get on with it!

Limp wrists, swaying hips, the whole deal...

Dear David,

I am in my early forties and in very good shape. I have just begun seeing a man in his late twenties whom I like very much. I think we could really put a life together. My only problem is he is very "swishy." Limp wrists, swaying hips, the whole deal. Girls aren't even like that anymore. I really get embarrassed when we are in public together. What would you do?

~Ms. Macho

Dear Ms. Macho,

At least you have a sense of humor about it. As for what I would do? I think I am probably more like the new boyfriend. I think what you don't like is that when you are with him in public people know you are gay, too. Or do they? And do you care? I think when two people can get some kind of intimacy going where they care more about the other person than they do about themselves, that's it. There is nothing better and nothing more. If that's what's happening, go with it and just be embarrassed. That will wear off as you are prouder and prouder of your love for Mr. Swish.

Fred Astaire, plaid suits, long hair and horror stories

 I don't know why but fashion has really been on my mind lately. I have been thinking about white shoes and then suddenly I come across this mid-1930s picture of Fred Astaire in tweed jacket, scarf, and what looks like white pants, dark socks and white shoes. This is not a summer look. I think the pants could be light gray or beige. But the shoes really work and I wouldn't have thought of the dark socks. Excellent.

 I think if you want to look different without going overboard this Autumn this Ermengilda Zegna plaid suit is really good. Or something very like it. Dark shirt and sort of clashy tie works well, too. Is long hair coming back? Are we entering the 1960s again? We could do worse.

I also just ran across this photo with a woman in dark glasses and a man's plaid forepiece cap. So good, so current and actually is also from 1936, just like the Astaire photo. They both were able to create those classic looks that just go on and on.

Horror Story! What gives with all these hats from Louis Vuitton and now Ralph Lauren? I would think if there is on thing women don't need to struggle with right now it is an unmanagable hat that doesn't make them look better.

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Michael Kors model

How about this young man in the latest Michael Kors as as Handsomest Man in the World this week? He's got something a little different. Kors always manages to have male models who can hold your attention.
___________________________________________

Dear David,
I am always worried I am not going to smell good when I wake up in the morning next to my loved one.
~M.I. Stinky

Dear Stinkpot, 
Which I am sure you are not. I always give myself a spritz of cologne as I pass the bureau on my way to bed. I have actually been told, "You always smell good in the morning."

The Republican Koch Brothers

Dear David,
No one ever seems to mention that the Koch brothers, Charles and David, the money machine behind the Republican party, have a gay brother. How does that happen?
~Mr. Hmmm

Dear Mr. Hmmm,
I love your name. And funny you should ask. When I did my picture book on the photographer George Platt Lynes I was able to use the files of Frederick Koch, brother to Charles and David, who maintained an office on upper Fifth Avenue. He had obtained all the Platt Lynes male nude negatives from the artist Bernard Perlin as I understood it. If you wanted to do research, the Platt Lynes nudes were all at the Frederick Koch office and there were hundreds of them. Mr. Koch, the few times I met him, was rather snippy. Even if you were paying to use material from his files. He later took all this material to his home in the country - in New Jersey I think. But listen, hey, just because he owns most if the male nude photographs of George Platt Lynes, does that make him gay? It is strange however that he is never mentioned in the press.

If your sex life isn't at home...

Dear David, 
I am in my late twenties. My lover is in his mid-fifties. We have been together about four years. We have a very intimate, inter-reliant relationship. We really are a couple. However, our sex life is almost non-existent. My lover travels a good bit and I know he has sexual encounters when he does. This doesn't bother me. I feel that our being together is fine this way. What do you think?
~Happy As-it-is

Dear Happy,
Letters like your make me wonder a bit about my own personal philosophy. I always feel that if your sex life isn't at home you are living in a room with a missing wall. Unexpected events might roar in at any time. You might suddenly fall in love with someone else. He might meet someone on his travels he just can't resist.

It's very "mom and dad", the lifestyle you seem to be living. If you need his financial helo and the life you have depends a lot on him, I think you are in a dangerous position. To say nothing of your own sex life. Don't you want to be involved with someone with whom you also have the fulfilling sex that for me is the basis of a relationship.

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 49

Welcome to the 49th Episode of "Come On Out! with David Leddick" - live from my book signing party @ Books & Books on Lincoln Road in Miami Beach. Listen to my fun chat with my pal Rob Davidson about his personal coming out story.

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Cedric Bihr

Handsomest Man in the World for you this week is Cedric Bihr. An older guy with that lean, trim body we all love. Beard and all, this is the guy! Bihr? Hmmmm? Where could he be from? Are there any more there like him? All aboard!

_____________________________

Dear David,

What's the biggest scandal you know of?

~Scandal Monger

Dear Scandal Monger,

I am so glad you asked. Gore Vidal, the write and television personality just died at 86. He lived with a man named Howard Austen for over 40 years, Gore always claimed they were not lovers. Gore also slept with many people. I don't believe his story for a minute and the fact he put together a whole line about "there are only homosexual acts, there are no homosexuals" was a ridiculous statement. He just didn't want to be called gay. A good-looking, famous man who let his lover down as completely as anyone could. For me, that is a great scandal.

Are you in love?

Dear David, 

Are you in love?

~Just Askin'

Dear Just Askin',

As opposed to Justin Bieber I suppose? Yes, I am very much in love with a gent in South America. And I have every reason to think that we have a relationship, although he is a good bit younger than I am. I said to a lady friend in San Francisco, "He is either really into me or the best actor in the world." She said, "What's the difference?" Yes, I think love is more important than anything else. When you look back you're not going to miss that new car but you will really miss not having been locked in someone's arms as the sun sets over the ocean.

Do you know how you are going to vote?

AP Photo

Dear David,

Do you know how you are going to vote?

~Not Really Decided

Dear N.R.D.,

I just finished writing another article for the Huffington Post. This latest one is called "Sex & the Presidency." I will let you know when it's published online. I have always said I judge things by how many people there I'd be willing to sleep with: sporting events, parties, airline flights, you name it. Same thing for the presidency. Obama is definitely hotter than Romney. As I say in the article about Romney, "You'd have to teach him everything."

Come On Out! with David Leddick ~ Episode 48

Welcome to the 48th Episode of "Come On Out! with David Leddick" - live from my book signing party @ Books & Books on Lincoln Road in Miami Beach. Listen to my fun chat with my pal Eddie Martinez about his personal coming out story.

Autumn fashion is here!

Men's fashion for Autumn is coming up. This look by Tagliatore is it if you live in a cold enough climate. Very well cut gray topcoat over tweed jacket. Really good.

This is sort of the same look except over a long, loose-knit cardigan sweater and a dark T-shirt underneath. Looks like the T-shirt is long-sleeved. Very stretchy, knitty which is a bog look this winter I think. Please note that the short length pants have a widecuff. I am not a fan of short pants but this looks kind of right with this look. But it requires the high boot. Too much ankle just looks geeky.

The English cap seems to be coming back. I have seen it around in a number of places.

How about this velvet suit? I had one in dark green years back and I wore I a lot. I had dinner with Dana Andrews, the movie actor, once. I wore that suit with a white gardenia in the lapel. He said, "Why are you wearing that gardenia on your lapel?" I said, "It won't stay in my hair."

Handsomest Man in the World ~ Tyson Chandler

Who was it that said, "So many men, so little time!" Here is Tyson Chandler as Handsomest Man in the World. I found this photo in Uomo Vogue, the Italian fashion magazine. Mr. Chandler is an American basketball player. Pretty hot, Mr. Chandler. Burning!
___________________________

Dear David,
I just read in someone's memoirs that it is all right if sex cools off early in a relationship. It is the interdependency that is more important. What do you think? I believe I know your answer.
~True or False

Dear True or False,
I would not like to be in a relationship where the sex is infrequent or non-existent. As a friend told me years ago, "If they're not sleeping with you they're sleeping with somebody." I think it's very ego-diminishing and I would be out of there myself. You are there in the first place because you have something going on sexually between yourselves. You just have to figure out how to keep it going. I think the big thing is that men want to do the same thing sexually, just with different people. You job is  to do different things with the same person. If the sex isn't good the door is open to his leaving in my opinion.