I am in my early forties and in very good shape. I have just begun seeing a man in his late twenties whom I like very much. I think we could really put a life together. My only problem is he is very "swishy." Limp wrists, swaying hips, the whole deal. Girls aren't even like that anymore. I really get embarrassed when we are in public together. What would you do?
Dear Ms. Macho,
At least you have a sense of humor about it. As for what I would do? I think I am probably more like the new boyfriend. I think what you don't like is that when you are with him in public people know you are gay, too. Or do they? And do you care? I think when two people can get some kind of intimacy going where they care more about the other person than they do about themselves, that's it. There is nothing better and nothing more. If that's what's happening, go with it and just be embarrassed. That will wear off as you are prouder and prouder of your love for Mr. Swish.