Thursday, August 4, 2011

Am I Showing Too Much Leg?

(VERY inappropriate shorts, from the show Reno 911)

(Totally approriate shorts, from fashion blog

Dear David,
I know Thursday is your fashion day and my question is: you often refer to "inappropriate shorts." What do you mean exactly? Am I guilty of it? I want to know.
~Mr. Shanks

Dear Mr. Shanks,
You're not Tom Shanks, are you? Inappropriate shorts. For the rest of the country as Autumn approaches it is probably pointless. But here in Miami Beach it is always pertinent.

At this point in time a man's shorts should always be just above his knee. They can be mid-knee if you insist, but no longer. No shorter. As I have said before, men never wear out their shorts, and wear the shorts in their 50's that they wore at 15. If you have old shorts, dump them.

And gay men, if you are proud of your legs, don't show them off wandering around in too-short shorts. Save that for the beach where you can wear a Speedo and we won't complain. You must avoid looking desperate. And actually, good legs do not go unnoticed in the longer short. They just add to your overall handsomeness. There, don't let me go on...

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