Monday, August 8, 2011
Is This Just A Rebound?
Dear David G.,
I have just broken off with my partner of seven years. He wanted out and I wasn’t going to stand in his way. He didn’t leave me for another man but a “sleep around town lifestyle,” which he never had.
I have rapidly bumped up against a South American guy I like very much but here is my question. Isn’t this just “rebound” emotions at work? I don’t trust myself at this point and don’t want to jump into a new relationship, maybe to just not be alone. Maybe just to forget the other guy. What do you think?
Dear Mr. Crisis,
This is a crisis and you are wise to step back and be wary of your own emotions. The best way to make a decision is, however, an emotional one. I can always tell if I am in love or am going to be in love with someone. If you feel this way about the South American, go for it. Perhaps your previous relationship disintegrated so that you would be available for this one.
You know my position. Life is about great stormy emotional relationships and not about a roommate with a little sex thrown in.
On the other hand, if your new romance doesn’t stir you in this way, then let it just go on as happy dating. You can take a break from the great romance and rest up for the next one.