Monday, August 29, 2011

Pondering & Perplexed About Relationships

Dear David,
You blog lately on the conundrum of how to pair up with another man is of course the eternal question of pairing up with another person. Men and women have a slightly easier job because they are not expected to be both exciting sexually and be social equals. The woman can be younger, she can earn a living, but still the man is the head of the household. In a gay relationship there are two heads of household but making them equal is difficult.

You can pair up with a younger, sexier guy and then eventually the age difference and money difference is going to weigh in. Can your love for each other carry you through?

Or you can have a romance with someone more mature who doesn't have the exciting body or the need for sex very frequently. You can soon slip into a near sexless relationship that is all about being comfortable together. Both possibilities seem so inevitable. What do you think?
~Pondering & Perplexed

Dear P. & P.,
Don't be blue. I'd guess you are still very attractive and about forty. Much younger men still dig you. Men your own age and older do too. You have a lot of choice. But this you must remember. In every other person there is an ageless somebody. An ageless personality and I'm not talking about their mind. I'm talking about their persona as a whole.

In the gay world it is so much about how one looks, whereas sex can be a lot about enthusiasm. If someone really finds you fascinating and pursues you, give them a chance. I think that is your next big step. Forget about giant penises and similar taste in decorating.

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