Monday, April 25, 2011

You Are In A Relationship When...

Dear David's Gay Dish,
I have been seeing the same man for over 6 months. As far as I can tell our relationship is monogamous. How can I tell if I am in a relationship or not? I know if I ask he will not want to discuss it.
~Tell Me

Dear Tell Me,
You are in a relationship when:
1. He leaves his underwear on the bedroom floor for you to throw in the laundry basket.

2. Ditto wet towels on the bathroom floor.

3. Ditto dishes in the sink. For you to wash. Not to throw laundry in the basket.

4. When he's coming over in the evening he calls to see if you have eaten yet.

5. Big step forward. He offers to bring you something instead of going out.

6. When he is no longer careful about splitting restaurant bills, movie tickets, etc. Often pays for you without mentioning it. As you do for him.

7. Spends money on you. The more they spend the more they care. If he does NOT spend money on you you do not have a relationship. If you always pay, forget it. It is not going to happen. You may have something but it is not a relationship.

He breaks wind in bed. And laughs.

9. He kisses you on the mouth with enthusiasm.

10. He calls you from the office when he is a little down to cheer him up. And you do.

11. If you have most of these you are in good shape. Which does not mean you will be together for the next twenty years. And in many cases you can thank your lucky stars for this in retrospect.

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