Tuesday, September 18, 2012

He does not like to cuddle...

Dear David,
I have a lover who is great in bed.  But other than during sex he does not want to be touched in bed. He does not like to cuddle, doesn't want to sleep touching my body in any way. There's no snuggling with him. Nor do I get a little hug from time to time. Have you ever run into this? Is there anything that can be done? If I mention it, all he says is "I just don't want to."
~The Uncuddled

Dear Uncuddled,
It's tough. I have encountered this. Not personally. Fortunately I have usually had a "hands on" type in tow. I once worked with a famous male model who discussed this. He woke up immediately if anyone touched him while he was sleeping and couldn't go back to sleep in contact with another body. Somewhere deep down it probably has to do with feeling guilty about being homosexual. Or maybe about needing anyone else? Needing someone may make that person feel weak and not able to deal with life. That's my guess. As always, I suggest massage. They are awake, you are in touch with each other. Frequent massage may get him accustomed to another person's body in contact with his own when it doesn't involve sex.

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