You will be badgered this week with information on my new show "How to Be Gay in the 21st Century." All the information is to the right at the top of the page. >>>>
Please try to come and say hello to me afterwards, and you can buy the book! Really, what more could you ask?
On to the question of the day:
I don't like to masterbate to porn. It leaves me feeling empty, and robs me of a sexual vibrancy and energy in my days and my personality that making love with someone does not. I like what you say about waiting for that zing zang feeling before making love with someone, but waiting for that someone can make minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days if you are male and not having orgasms. The pressure kind of builds you know? What to do?
Dear True Lover,
Yes I think porn has fallen into heavy routine. Directors like Chichi LaRue have a set of fixed camera angles and they run their performers though all the setpieces in much the same order film after film. And the choice of models tends to be exactly the same kind of bodies over and over until they are all indistinguishable one from the other. You can't even get a crush on a porn star anymore.
Here's my advice. When you masturbate imagine a real person, preferably someone with whom you've had sex. Conjure up in your mind what you would be doing. And let your imagination go. It's not really happening so you can go anywhere. This is also how you explore yourself sexually. You can also imagine having sex with a real person with whom you have not had sex. But no movie stars. This should be someone whom you know and see. I think a lot of people just don't have enough imagination to conjure up imaginary sex partners. And all the TV electronic images they are saturated with don't help. Here's hoping you can make your imagination more and more vivid.